m3 . mys3Lf . |

2007-06-09T11:20:00.000+08:00

for ur info ppl, i've moved on to using livejournal.. =) e add is hweelin.livejournal.com.. =) tata..

2007-05-11T11:29:00.000+08:00

he asked mi to go his his house to help him fix his internet connection for him.. i tried to but i din manage to fix it.. saw e fotos of him n his gf in bed.. n i realised tt he must have felt e same way to what i did last tym..

i felt very sorry.. very very sorry.. i even felt guilty for treating him lyk tt starting in e past.. n now tt it happened to mi, i finally know how it feels.. =(

e ring he bought for mi as a surprise, he gave it to her.. its not abt e price tt i value.. its abt e memories tt came along wif it.. e memories when he gave the ring to mi out of sudden, the memories when he slipped the ring onto my finger n said those sweet nothigs to mi.. all e sweet sweet nothings that were assosciated with this ring..

he asked mi for the ring; i ask him he needed it for wat.. he told mi not to ask too much questions n jus give him e ring.. i was quite reluctant cos i was scared tt he would give the ring to her.. how wld u feel if ur ex took e ring back frm u jus to give it to another ger??? he said no, he wun give.. but what i saw frm e pic is tt she's wearing e ring.. e exact same ring he gave mi.. n he gave it to another ger whom he was together wif for a few days just like that..

CAN U JUST IMAGINE THE HURT???

2007-05-05T10:17:00.000+08:00

well well.. its sat morning now.. but gues where m i?? in e office.. =( super diao.. e whole week has been quite a blast.. e onli day this week i realli rested well was on Labour's Day.. i got quite into a "I NEED SOME TIME FOR MYSELF" mood tt i rejected all e plans tt were offered to mi.. haha.. sentosa, rollerblading, movies n slacking.. i rejected all of those..

was actually kinda looking forward to fri night.. meeting my crazy ger frens frmmy crazy cls for dinner.. but was cancelled last min.. either not well or cant make it.. oh well.. other tym den.. we've got till aug 3rd to meet.. haha..

met amy in e end.. i went to buy my stud cos my mum keeps throwing it away.. saying it'll get cancer all tt shit.. -_-" bought a black slim 1 this time.. nicer to play wif.. haha..

after tt was sakae @ heeren.. surprisingly we saw my MKs there queueing in frnt of us.. makaned together n all e brain teasers came out.. i realli dunno how e questions surfaced during e dinner.. in e end e whole arnd 2 hrs we were there all of us were guessing e ans.. haha..kinda entertaining lah.. but i onli got 1 of it correct.. *they sae my IQ is low but i think its jus i'm lazy to stress my brain out frm thinking too much.. dinner is to relax not to exercise e brain.. lol.. i got e relationship game correct (n tt's e onli 1 wif some hints frm lao gong (alyser).. others were something like: "what time is it now", "fuzzy wuzzy", "auntie mary died last night did she die?", "cross n not cross", blah blah blah..

dinner ended arnd 10 plus soon after amy left to met elvina.. i left wif my MKs to watch spiderman 3.. i find it ok except for some parts tt scareded mi off my seats which in turn scareded alyser.. spiderman is always e same here n there..e same faces, e ever-so-similar storyline, e always-nvr-change sunset / sunrise scenary after e fight is won.. n e korean main actor in 200 pounds is soOOoO~ handsome!!!! haha!! =D

2007-04-28T13:49:00.000+08:00

went raffles country club for a golf event (there's this golf competition wif the guest of honour being minister lee boon yang.. partly sponsored by Cornerstone.. its a super ulu place somewhere in near tuas..

anyway, we were supposed to b there promoting our BenRiach whiskey of 8 n 12 yrs old.. brought along our stuff n rode e buggy to our station (hole 18).. there isnt any shelter or tent.. wat we have there is jus a table n 2 chairs to display our items.. -_-" n e weather wasnt that friendly either.. its either in e hot sun or raining.. started to rain arnd 3 plus 4 n we had to hide our stuff under e table b4 getting back to e office... e game was cancelled cos of e occasional thunders.. =(

anyway set up for e pre-dinner reception outside their banquet hall.. mi n lance served e sparkling wines n juices..i dunno bout him but for now, i'm not touching these kinda bottles for e time being.. haha.. pop e bottles until my hand super pain.. n 1 funny thing tt happened is tt i opened a bottle of sparkling wine, i forgot to hold e cork properly.. it burst off n flew onto a MD from duno which companyu's head.. haha.. pai seh pai seh..

we were actually supposed to end at 6.. but it became 8 plus when we finished everything.. had to meet my gers in town but was told to stay back for e dinner.. mi n ming yuan help to fill up e seats.. had a fast 8 course dinner, with 4 dishes at the susan at 1 time, n proceeded back to e office to pack up the stuff..
ming yuan was angry over some company ppl.. =( she was in a bad mood yest..

but overall, yest was fun.. cos at least i've gotten out of e office.. =)

their display at buggies

RAFFLES COUNTRY CLUB

does she look lyk wei ning???

APPLE SPARKLING JUICE
WHITE GRAPE SPARKLING JUICE
SPARKLING WINE
BENRIACH 12 YRS
BENRIACH - HEART OF SPEYSIDE

BENRIACH 21 YEARS (PRIZED POSSESSION)

2007-04-17T00:17:00.000+08:00

started my 1st day of attachment today.. geylang lor 17.. went there early to find e place.. but no matter how many times i walked up n down e entire 17, i jus couldnt find my soon to b work place.. i looked lyk an idiot walking past e red house cafe countless times lah.. but my fault.. i din get to check up my work place before hand.. lucky i had e mind to take zhe jia's no.. if not i'll b blooddy late for work for my 1st day!! lol..

anyways, sat in a small room n chit chatted while waiting for our company supervisor.. he came arnd 10 plus.. n e moment he entered, he realli surpised us.. cos we din expect our supervisor to communicate wif us using papers n pen.. he gave us his name card n a small card for learning e basic sign language..he's deaf btw.. a new experience for mi.. very new.. but he's quite friendly n easily approachable.. knew another 2 gers there arnd my age.. both were fresh grads.. 1 frm JC n i frm NYP.. =)

e office was small, plain n simple.. guess its a nice place to work in.. started e day by being intro-ed to our colleagues.. after being assign our tasks (which was to improve on the current price lists) we jus slacked at our desks for e nxt few hrs while waiting for some one to enter the laptop passwork to begin our work with.. lol.. lunch was delivery mac..

anyway, did some realli manual stuff, n after tt guess wat?? we went robinsons quay for wine tasting!! =) 1st day 1st attachment already so many benefits.. =) over 10 bottles of red n white wine for us to taste.. e reds were kinda spicy but some of e whites were nice.. i lyk especially e 1 wif e very fruity taste.. very sweet, very elegant.. =)

after e wine tasting sat down in groups to discuss bout ways to improve promotions for e wine.. dinner was in e wine restaurant.. buffet style.. nice food, nice wine to go along, n best of all nice ambience.. =)

n btw guess what?? they sell not onli red, white n sparkling wines, they oso sell hard liquor n its all at retail prices!! tt means each bottle of liquour (jack daniel's vodka, chivas, martell) costs onli less den 50 bucks.. =D n there's a further 20% discount for staff... *song!!*

another wine tasting tml.. looking forward to it.. n its onli e 2nd day of attachment.. ~!woohoo!~

alysa called mi in e afternoon.. cleared up some misunderstandings.. feeling happy.. =D

2007-03-27T14:06:00.001+08:00

for e past nearly 2 yrs,
u were e 1 hu always made my day
u were e 1 hu seem to get all my troubles away
u were e 1 hu i always have to rely on physically n emotionally.
u were e 1 hu i've realli gave all my love out for e 1st n onli tym.

i cant sae how grateful i am in my heart, for these period of time u showed n taught me how to be a better half.. e last few mths i have already felt u drifting away from mi, but i din do anything to hold u closer back to mi.. cos i tot tt e reason was cos of ur bubs.. spending more tym wif em.. din noe e actual reason was cos of her..

for e past few mths after e thing wif hilman i DID try 2 b e faithful gf.. i tried doin all those things u wld lyk ur gf to do.. i try to satisfy wat ever u need.. ur mum said i gave in too much to u but i felt it was all worth it for e guy i love..

but its over now..
if i din initiated the 1st breakup things wun probably lead to this..
but i cant possibly turn time arnd n start all over again right from e start..
i cant have u by my side anymore, not tt ur're wif another now..
i cant call u baby, i onli have to refain myself from doin so..
i cant smell ur body smell, tt's y i took ur old deoderant so i can have some thing in memory of u
i cant hug u close to my heart, so i can onli look at our pictures n think of u

i let go of u starting in e past, but as tym goes by it became ur turn to let go of mi.. this tym round i guess its for real. u have decided to let mi go in pursuit of ur new love. i can onli wish u all e best..

listening: ALMOST OVER YOU - JANNO GIBBS
guess wat's my feeling now??

I saw an old friend of ours today
She asked about you, I didn't quite know what to say.
Heard you've been making the rounds 'round here
While I've been trying to make tears disappear.

*Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town
You'll see I'm almost over you.

You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
Maybe leaving came easy
But it tore me apart.
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know
'Cause it seems like forever
But I'm letting you go.

*Repeat

I can forgive you and soon I'll forget
All the shattered dreams
Although you left me with nothing to show
For the misery

*Repeat

2007-03-26T17:37:00.000+08:00

din update for such a long tym.. half a mth le ba.. i'm having such a huge change in my life.. let mi list 1 by 1:

-i finally managed to pass all my papers during the first sitting *yeah*!!!

-i've suddenly got a huge bunch of kakis after my break up wif him.. ei ci ling zhen an qi xin rong qi fu vincent thomas cheryl

-my money ever since i started working i still have no idea where it went.. K BOX, makan, etc.. somemore???

-vincent lyk cheryl, thomas lyk cheryl oso ever since she came in mandarin, but din have e oppo to woo her cos he still cant forget his ex.. suay suay vin took her away.. den they break up.. thomas very obviously showed tt he lyk cheryl, vin vin came to know bout it.. n now they're not on talking terms.. cos vin vin still lyk cheryl.. =(

-i have 2 suitors.. xin rong n qi fu.. xin rong was 1st.. he popped e question.. but i rejected him.. told him i still cant forget xing.. (nearly 2 yrs how do u expect mi to put down so easliy??) i told him unless xing found another gf if not i wun go into another relationship.. h kept thinking he got chance.. haha.. hinted to him damn obvious tt i onli lyk him as a big bro.. but i dunno y he nvr catch it..

den suddenly qi fu came along.. i dunno how n when it happened but guess it jus happened ba.. ju ju was e 1st 2 noe n told him to make e 1st move.. started to lyk him abit.. e way he shows concern for mi, his body n build all reminded mi of xing.. onli diff is tt 1 is chinese n 1 is eng version n he does not scold as much vulgarities n dun get angry wif mi unnecessarily.. haha..

we were together for a day (a day onli) but he reminded mi too much of him i cant take it.. i dun wan to cheat his feelings by using him as another substitute for e old him.. dun wan to go into another relationship when i have my old him in my heart..

tt tym went xing house to borrow e cam for my cousin's wedding.. he saw e fotos i took wif qi fu.. he tot we were together.. but we werent at tt point in tym.. cos tt was a few days back.. told him i wasnt wif him he din believe.. 'i wun snatch my good fren's gf', tt's wat he said.. i ended it cos of him he lyk tt sae.. =(

- he 2timed mi wif another ger from his sch for 5 mths starting from oct.. i found out after he saw e pic of mi n qi fu n tot we were together.. heart damn pain sia.. this is not e 1st but 2nd tym he cheated on mi.. he said e ger is prettier, nicer, richer n can make a better gf den mi.. since he can 2 time his gf, i wonder how many times he'll 2 time her in e future said he'll b faithful to mi he din do tt.. said he'll b faithful to her, i dun think so.. cos if there's a 1st n 2nd tym, there'll confirm b a 3rd n 4th tym.. n to think he still told mi he wun 2tym again cos he sae very tiring.. n he jus wan stay faithful to 1.. n wat happened?? e 2nd 1 still came..

- qi fu tot i cant forget xing was an excuse to reject xin rong.. until i use e same reason to reject him.. told mi he dun mind mi using him as a sub.. but i dun wan.. its lyk he realli deserves a better gf..

2007-03-08T19:02:00.000+08:00

n finally... i've got e tym after so many days to check my mail n blog.. work was tiresome.. morning all the way.. 6 am 6 am 7 am 6 am.. till late night.. (sidetrack: i dun even have the time to have a realli good rest y wld i bother bout ur stupid fucking black shirt??)

anyway, these few days has taken quite a toll on me... flu, high body temperature all are attacking me now.. auntie gave mi some pills for flu.. quite effective.. everybody's goin overseas.. en ci's goin malaysia, an qi's goin bangkok, xin rong's goin taipei n he's goin perth.. i'm stuck in singapore.. *rmb buy some stuff back for mi ok..* =) especially to xing..

results gonna be out soon.. i guess another week ba.. anyway think i'll b chionging for another week b4 resting for a day or 2 ba.. wilson has put my name as CS girl for e past few weeks.. if its 1 day i'm ok wif it.. but its for all my booking days!! WTF? 5 days work 5 days have to wear.. if you were still in mandarin i wun be asked to wear it all e tym.. u'll b able to take control over e matter n help mi deal wif wilson.. i complained to him.. its not fair for mi to wear it for 5 working days.. there's others hu can wear.. lyk zhen, yi ai, sheena.. y mus it always b mi?? but he said i'm e onli ger left wif CS wif my name n e upper wanted a CS girl for e necessary functions.. if tt's e case i bought my black pants for wat sia.. i'm jus so irritated wif wearing CS everytime.. most of e things oso cannot do, shoe walk in kitchen so slippery.. alot of things to complain sia..!!

if u're reading this (u noe hu u are), i wan tell u i still miss u damn alot.. its still e same words i wanna sae to u no matter what happens.. i realli realli love n miss u alot..

comparing bfs (between my exes, between friend's bf) i can confidently sae tt ur're still e best among all e rest.. i proved em n mi tt.. e things u do tt bfs usually lack (as said by an qi n shown by poh lin) an qi also agreed.. n yet again n again i foolishly let u go.. i'm still trying to get u back.. I LOVE YOU!

2007-02-28T07:27:00.000+08:00

everybody around mi is falling sick.. my close people.. =(

ann qi.. i cant bear to see her lyk this.. coughing for 2mths straight wif vomit.. tried to persuade her to see doc but she doesnt wan cos of her parents.. it jus pains mi to see her lyk this.. its ur health ger.. money doesnt matter ger.. each of us fork out abit abit for e medical fee.. money can be earned again de.. n e medicine we can keep for u in case ur ma takes again.. we love u lots.. =)

my ma's goin to hospital.. might be goin for operation.. something to do wif e abdomen.. dunno wat's wrong wif her oso.. =(

2007-02-26T09:20:00.000+08:00

exams are goin to b over.. another 1 more day to tahan... was actually not supposed to work on sun n 2day.. but in e end for yest i replaced someone.. den 2day was cos doris asked mi whether wanted to work 2day.. i jus agreed without a 2nd tot.. suddenly i rmbed tt i hav another exam on tues.. but.. oh well.. jus study when i got e chance.. if he were still wif mi he'll have reminded mi tt i have an exam on tues.. n ask mi go cancel my booking.. but since he's not here i feel i've got no motivation to study for this exam.. heck care it lah.. can get a P or F can le.. hu cares so much..

istana these 2 days.. e weather yest was damn humid n sticky.. after changing our pass ran over to e big tent there cos it was starting to rain.. saw my ex-sir working there.. as a policeman..

4000 pax and e ppl arrived concurrently.. served SM GCT n his wife.. there's was a significant contrast in height between e 2.. lol.. n after he left, mi qi n ci helped grace, yuan xiang n e few sales manager do 'factory work'.. packing e oranges n red packets into the bags.. 4000 ppl which meant 8000 oranges to unwrap.. (not including couples who counted as 1 pax) everybody was working damn hard n fast.. boxes n plastic were thrown everywhere on e floor.. but nevertheless we manage to finish the work on time.. proud of everybody.. =) but guess wat??

we missed our dinner packed for us.. stayed there till 11pm while e rest went back at 8.30.. had oranges for supplementary dinner.. haha.. janet feed mi some pineapples cos my hands were dirty.. but lucky we (my 3 favourite gers) stayed lah.. there was suprisingly a fireworks display at e esplanade.. skirting e tables den heard e sound of fireworks.. went over to e frnt to see it.. VERY NICE CAN!!!

henry gave us a red packet (to those we wished him happy new yr).. he wasnt married but he jus give us.. say is to motivate us to work.. lol.. sebest also gave.. he's more generous den henry.. 1 of e packet got red colour inside.. n wei jie was e lucky 1 hu took it..

finished work ahead of schedule.. closed at 11.. n we came back arnd 10.. bathe n went to eat BK.. had our dinner there.. on e way back to mandarin to get our pay saw ping n her bf n their frens.. went over to hug her.. n e bye bye hug i hit her head quite hard.. (its actually on purpose..) lol..

din manage to get our pay.. dunno wat iskandar doin.. -_-;

will b starting to chiong in mandarin.. my booking for this week:
wed 9am
thurs 6am
fri 6am
sat 10am..

able to support him n his financial problems le.. started abit already but hope he doesnt noe.. =) i'll cont to do so as long as i've got e means ba.. i onli want wat's best for him even thou he's no longer my baby..

watever i do i always seem to be thinking bout him.. at work, all e mischievious n funny stuff he did.. unmentionable.. n helping us get e 'best bargain' from managers.. haha.. in istana, e fun we had n him always looking out for mi.. helping mi get food from e stalls to eat, n fun during tt tym we stayed together wif qi ren n theresa.. waiting for him at dhoby ghaut mrt b4 goin work.. the malay security guard at the checkpoint whom he always talks to.. the uncle for e night transport to the east (he always asks mi whether i'm taking his bus n where's e hainan guy).. his frens lyk jasper n stanley hu always do mischievious stuff tt somehow reminds mi of him again n again..

tt tym terence called mi over to ask why this tym so serious.. i told him e truth n e things tt happened these few mths tt made our relationship declining.. as i talked, my tears flowed out.. i noe it was mi mi n jus mi making this relationship lyk tt.. but at this point of time where after i got my reprimanding from terence n i realli realli realli wanted to make amendments, he doesnt want it anymore.. so now i'm trying to do my best to give him my support in whatever ways i can..

hope i can prove to him this tym..

2007-02-22T15:04:00.000+08:00

new yr was ok.. collected ang baos over $300 in total over e past few days.. but spend till i left arnd 100.. haha.. movies, mahjong n cards, cab home..

pre-CNY.. met up wif 1 of my cousin to do abit of last minute new yr shopping.. had time to catch a movie - epic movie - b4 goin my god ma house for reunion dinner.. =)

1st day of CNY.. lingered at home for a litte while cos my father's relatives were coming.. after tt my family n i went bishan to catch a movie.. - just follow law -(our usual routine each yr).. slacked for more than 1 hr at MOS burger.. most of e shops were not opened.. before catching the show at 2..

after e movie we went straight down to my godma's house.. it was boring there.. no gambling, no nth.. onli thing we did there was eating e new yr snacks n watching tv.. steamboat after tt.. but no abalone (think i finished tt e night b4.. haha)

after my godma's house was another auntie's house.. had another round of steamboat, n this tym wif abalone.. =) wasn't tt close to em so we sat there watching tv while my dad n sis tried e massage chair n my mum chatted wif em..

onli when i heard e youngsters were playing mj i went in to kpo.. lol.. cos it was damn boring.. they played for a while, den after tt switched to playing cards.. my young sis n i joined em.. played in-between, dai dee, black jack, poker (lyk those played in e casinos) won over $60 in total.. lol.. cos of e in-between where e jackpot hit $175.. n daidee.. we played 1 card $1.. lol.. it was a substantial amt considered tt it was onli e 4 of us playing.. (except my sis.. lol) booked a movie for Norbit for e 2am slot at The Cathay.. e show was not kinda worth it to mi..

2nd day.. went over to my mother's side.. mahjonged for a while before e lion dance troupe came at 2 plus.. lunch was a catered buffet.. food was alright except for e noodle which tasted exceptionally nice.. =) e lion dance came.. everyone was there looking, except for some kids n ping who was scared of it n 1 table of in-laws who cont playing mj.. haha.. cards for a while, den mahjonged again.. lost $$.. haha..

went town arnd 7 plus 8 wif ping n her bf.. ting n her bf stayed at ah ma hse.. slacked at starbuks b4 deciding to catch e protege.. saw ling zhen n vincent at cine.. they were catching e ghostrider show.. met after both our show.. went boat quay for sheesha, apple flavour..

3rd day.. supposed to meet early morning 7.30am at bedok mrt for new yr visiting.. xiao shi hse 1st stop.. i din manage to wake up.. haha.. in e end they came my house (cos 2nd stop was mine).. had lunch over here (my mum cooked bee hoon) b4 proceeding over to ann chi's hse jus down e road..

had a little change of plans.. supposedly to be xiao shi, mi, ann chi, david, ling zhen, en ci, n last xin rong where his 'IR' will b held.. but xin rong hse we had to b there by 7 to b in time for e steamboat his famly had prepared for us.. so tt means we had to skip e houses in between n go directly to xr's house... reahed there on time.. imagine taking cab to jurong frm hougang.. -_-"

had steamboat till arnd 9 plus b4 we started IR wif 2 tables.. qi fu n vincent joined us hrs lata together wif jack tt group whom i dunno.. terence n zhen ling wanted to come but something happened in between which caused em not to come.. left his hse arnd 6 plus together wif e rest of em.. (saving on e midnight charge back to hg.. haha..) it was after 7 when we manage to hail a cab.. they were waiting for e peak hr surcharge..

n this is my chinese new year.. lucky there's still some $$ left for mi to book my practical lessons.. yay!!! =)

epic movie: a lame but funny show.. compliations of different movies.. something like scary movie..
just follow law: funny but e last part was sad.. e indian security guard was damn stupid n funny.. e part where they started to change roles was oso funny.. him as her n her as him..
norbit: not quite interesting to mi.. onli funny at certain parts..
protege: quite a nice show.. something bout drugs traffickers n police n drug takers.. it was kinda gross to see e effect of drugs on drug takers..

2007-02-17T03:48:00.000+08:00

15 feb.. MK chinese new yr dinner.. mi n poh lin were e 'invited guests'.. haha.. cos poh lin is an qi's bf n i'm.. an invited guest.. lol.. mi, ci, zhen n xin rong took bus 197 down.. have to walk a certain distance to reach e park.. e long beach restaurant i tot we were eating in was at e east coast seafood centre, e 1 where my baby n 1 used to frequent everytym in e past.. but e actual place turns out to b near e east coast central near mac.. (i din noe there were 2 long beach restaurants).. supposed to meet at 7.45 but we came at 8.30 cos of e wrong destination n zhen had to wait for her dad to come pass her $$.. so e reservation was postponed to 9pm..

so all together there were 9 of us.. e 7 MK (en ci, ling zhen, an qi, xiao shi, david, da neng, xin rong) + mi n poh lin.. e 8th MK (qi fu) wasn't there cos he had something on last min.. so anyway we jux cont..
1st course: yu sheng.. it was funny e words they said while 'lauing e yu sheng'.. its all bout 4D n toto.. haha..
2nd course: lobster something wif sauce.. initially during the reservation in default was shark's fin but an qi told e manager we were sick of eating e shark's fin le (she said e manager look abit shocked.. haha.. ) but this dish is superb.. *yummy* -i wan more!!!-
3rd course: e dunno wat green veggie.. it was up to e restaurant standard.. =)
4th course: fried rice.. mi n xiao shi had diff opinion bout this.. she said e baked rice beta but i said this beta cos e baked rice too dry.. haha.. but mayb i jux have a thing for 'zhu2 chao3'.. e.g. fried rice, hor fun, hk mee, etc..
5th course: roast crispy chicken.. its ok compared to mandarin although i think both of em taste quite e same.. =P
6th course: steamed black garoupa.. i lyk e clear taste of e sauce tt went wif e fish.. its jux nice.. nice..
7th, 8th n 9th course: black pepper crab, chilli crab wif crispy buns.. i din have much of those cos it was super hot.. but for e enjoyment of e rest hu lyks hotness, mi n xiao shi din mind.. =)
10th course: a dessert containing almond n longan..

guess how much is e total?? its abt e price of a normal table during banquet functions.. $500.50.. its quite cheap considered 9 of us sharing it.. =)

fotos xiao shi will b passing mi on tues.. see if i know how to upload.. =)

n baby.. i still miss u damn alot.. =(

2007-02-17T02:38:00.000+08:00

its 3 am now n i've jus finished packing my room.. froma total mess to a kinda neat room.. haha.. as i was starting to pack, i saw alot of old memories.. from the photos we took from e tym we took together till now, to the old old letters, christmas n new year cards i received during my primary sch days.. not to mention the presents i received tt i din bear to put on display.. was looking thru each n every1 of our fotos.. wanted to share all those laughter n fun back together again.. but its probably not tt possible le..

anyway.. i read all e cards n letters once again.. like this kinda feeling.. clearing stuff den suddenly see some stuff tt brings back all ur memories.. cards i got mostly from jo jo, ivy n kathy.. all e christmas n new yr cards, not to mention xiao pei, elisa, yan shan, daphne, eunice xue li.. birthday cards were also bout e same ppl.. not to mention those pen pal letters i had wif jo n daphne.. *introduction: all of were my P1 to P6 clsmates n were e onli ones i talk 2 in cls besides e teacher..* haha..

rmbed last tym in sec sch eve n hui min said i was something lyk an introvert.. seldom talk to any1 except jo n few of my very very very close friends.. during my lower sec yrs.. haha.. but i guessed i was so ba.. onli after i started mixing wif eve in sec 3 (cos if Jay Chou) n gotten closer to jes n qi den i started talking more n think tt was den i started all my crap as said by my cls biatches.. haha..

presents lyk i said, were also included.. but for some i forgot who sent which 1.. i din bear to put it on display n collect dust, tt's y i've kept it in their original boxes till i forgetten all bout em.. but come on.. if something has been placed aside for 4 to 5 yrs would you still rmb?? but good thing is tt e presents were all still intact.. photoframes, mugs, keychain, etc..

there was also a letter n a bk mk from mr gerard conceicao.. *introduction: he's my P4 to P6 english teacher* this is e present i value e most.. cos he's a teacher i realli respect n like, apart frm mr pang (my sec sch teacher).. but conceicao rates 1st.. =)

i'm intending to keep all of these for as long as i can.. i realli cherish those childhood memories alot.. guess i'll b putting e presents on display when i move into my new house nxt tym.. =)

anyway did new yr shopping wif my mum n dad jus now at hg pt.. it was still squeezy despite it being near midnight.. wanted to buy mj table but guessed tt grandma will oppose against e noise generated by e tiles.. saw wei qiang at the wine section promoting the cartons of carlsberg beer.. he chatted wif my ma while my dad n i went to cont shopping.. bought some 'irrelevant' stuff (its jux something i wan to make for my him)..

i realli want to go my ah ma house eat reunion dinner.. last yr i din manage to go.. but tis yr i realli realli want.. i miss eating reunion dinner at her hse.. =( but i also dunno how to reject my god ma for fear tt she might get angry.. intended to tell her 1 yr eat here 1 yr eat there is e best solution.. but i realli dunno how to approach e topic cos she sounded so forceful n eager.. =(

2007-02-16T14:38:00.000+08:00

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

2007-02-14T10:47:00.000+08:00

today's valentine's day.. but too bad my baby isnt there to celebrate with mi.. gonna celebrate wif my mandarin kakis.. hopefully nxt yr we will b able to celebrate together.. i'll stop playing e games.. n i'll prove myself again.. i believe i will succeed this tym.. cos i personally is kinda sick of all e games tt cause us to break up.. so there wun b anymore.. =)

school almost coming to an end.. onli left the stupid OTBS blog project tt got us so frustrated.. as i'm blogging here, e rest are doin their project.. *i so bad* haha.. submission is 5pm todday but jillian hasn't came yet our group cant realli start start on where we left off yest.. hope tt all can b completed by 5pm cos tml have to do a presentation on it le.. *nervous*

new year starting this coming mon.. n my 1st paper is on fri e same week.. stress ar!!! cant really enjoy the whole week cos of exams.. but lucky onli for 3 days onli.. fri, mon n tues e following week.. den it's hols until we get our company posting le.. i selected 2 companies in central district n 1 in simei.. wonder which 1 i'll get posted to??=)

guess in meanwhile i'll think i'll b working factory job in changi.. hanis working there.. but haven ask her yet.. but wun b neglecting mandarin.. all my bitches are there.. =P

2nd day of new yr will b goin ah ma house.. but ting n her whole family wun b there cos of her grandmother's funeral.. so tt means this yr will b somewhat quieter there le.. =(

2007-02-13T11:34:00.000+08:00

ripped from an qi's blog.. n cos she's a she so she doesn't noe whether its true anot... so its up to u to determine tt.. =)

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?"~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering.

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep,they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about whatthey are going to say so there aren't awkward pauses,but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are more emotional than they would like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what? Uh, nevermind."would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.And he will assume he did something wrong andhe will obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammerwhen they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents.So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week.But it never works because guys are always hungry so theyend up asking the parents for money anyway.

16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

17. Guys are very open about themselves.

18. Its good to test a guy first before you trust him.But don't let him wait too long.

19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about hisproblems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone tolisten to him. You don't need to give advice.

21. A usual act that proves that the guy does like you is when he teases you.

22. Guys love you more than you love themif they are serious in your relationships.

23. Guys will brag about anything.

24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does,even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours,trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. As most guysthink alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting,but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A guy has to experience rejection, becauseif he is too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt,he won't be mature and grown up.

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about itfor the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance booksthat girls read and take as their basis of experience.

33. Guys worry about the thin line betweenbeing compassionate and being whipped.

34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back,he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl,he really is. Guys rarely say that.

36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just throwing tantrums.Here is something more...

37. Guys don't actually go after good-looking girls.They prefer neat and presentable girls.

38. Guys hate flirts.

39.When a guy says he doesn't understand you,it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

40. When a guy really likes you,he will disregard all your bad characteristics.

41. When you touch a guy's heart, there is no turning back.

42. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow".

43. You have to tell a guy what you really wantbefore he gets the message clearly.

44. Guys love their moms.

45. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunchjust to get you a couple of roses.

46. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him.But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

47. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

48. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter throughhalf of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

49. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

50. Guys really admire girls that they likeeven if they are not that pretty.

51. Guys keep secrets that girls tell them.

52. Guys fantasies are unlimited.

53. Girls' height does not really matter to a guy but her weight does!

54. Guys tend to get serious with their relationshipand become too possessive.

55. Guys are more talkative than girls areespecially when the topic is about girls.

56. Guys hate girls who overreact.

57. Guys who repent and tell their history and presentwants the girls to understand who he was and he is now.

58. Guys hate it when a girl says "not ready" when he proposesif it is not true when the fact is she is in love with another.

59. Guys don't like the girls who don't trust themafter listening to what others have to say.

60. Guys don't like girls who do things only to her favour.

61. Guys don't like Queen control.

62.Guys don't like when she covers her faults when something happensand only mention the guy's faults.

63. Guys don't like girls to tell their relationship problems to othersand let them influence in her decision making.

64. Guys don't like girls who talks alot with no subject at all.

65.Guys dun like his girl to be kiddish in front of peoplebut like it when they are alone.

2007-01-30T13:03:00.000+08:00

din realli sleep since fri nite.. busy working tt i dun even have e tym to go home.. after sch ended on fri worked dinner.. stayed till 1.30 b4 goin wif en ci n benjamin yeo to THE ONE.. stayed till 4 plus 5 b4 goin to starbucks chill for a while before we go back mandarin work.. lucky she's starting work at 11.. there's time to rest..

i started work at 6.. supposed to work bel but got called to mct for some coffeebreak.. kheng wei helped mi cover for a while as i went to take a short nap.. haha.. e breakfast was e usual but filling for mi...

after e breakfast went up ballroom to serve wedding lunch.. this wedding was damn funny.. think its cos e emcees got no experience ba.. anyway for e champagne toasting everybody was supposed to stand up n yan seng to e couple rite?? they din.. they jux "yum senged" while e rest were eating their courses n watching em "yum seng" on stage.. janet tried to remind em but i guess it was kinda loud tt they din hear her.. anyway she onli got to remind em after e 2nd toasting.. n for e final toasting everybody managed to get up.. haha.. e emcees were lyk damn pai seh lah.. lol..

den halfway during e dinner while e couple were taking fotos, out of sudden a woman was screaming n wailing.. n a guy nearby was shouting at her.. at 1st tot it was a couple quarrelling n e husband bully her.. but everybody kpo kpo (staff n guests) den found out tt e lady was actually drunk.. den she suddenly tot bout her deceased son.. at 1st crying abit.. but dunno how come it got louder n louder until e whole ballroom heard her.. e guy was damn agitated n was lyk threatening to punch her.. heard frm en ci tt he's not her husband.. but he was feeling sia suay tt e woman was making such a din in someone's wedding.. think he tried to ask her shut up but seems tt it got worse ba.. how can anyone ta han a woman screaming jux beside u??
haha..

anyway e woman cried until she KO-ed n went to sleep at foyer there.. dinner went back to work in bel... was ok.. stayed till 6am.. alot others oso.. en ci, qi fu, xin rong, jasper, kah wah, wei zhen, jie biao, chen zhi, ah moi n a few others.. cos nxt day there's 92 tables in ballrooom.. everybody was tired but think of e money we got.. most of em oso started work from 6am in e morning.. finally finished work at 5am..

started work again at 6.. again mct coffeebreak.. this tym wif ah may.. supposed to set up e coffeebreak things together.. but was suddenly very sleepy.. dunno y its always at this time of e day.. so she helped covered up for mi..

slept for arnd half hr she told mi wai seng looking for mi.. he asked where i go.. lol.. had enuf slp n took over her while she oso went to sleep... too bad working diff place wif en ci n ling zhen.. 1 in act 1 1 in ballroom.. sneaked up to ballroom cos heard frm cheryl ballroom 10 to 45.. confirm damn jialat.. haha..

arnd evening went up again to find ling zhen xin rong.. i've got an hour to slack while they close at 5.. so jux nice.. together e 3 of us went up act 1 find en ci b4 they go down for dinner n i go back mct..

when i got home on sun its lyk projects projects n more projects due.. =( jux 1 more week to tahan..

n to ying: i blogged.. =)

2007-01-24T11:49:00.001+08:00

Your Attitude is Better than 65% of the Population

You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.

How's Your Attitude?

2007-01-23T11:42:00.000+08:00

i received an email saying tt i won a prize of ££2,000,000.00.. dunno whther its true anot.. cos it also gave mi a tel no to call to verify wif e person my receipt no.. but come on.. think of e money i will have if this happens to be true.. all e things i can buy.. e keyboard.. a new fone.. all e things i want.. ££2,000,000.00!!! but its too good to b true.. tt's y i dunno whether its a fake or real.. in fact, it sounded abit too good to b real ba.. anyway below's is e email n e content..

Part 1:

FROM:

GOVERNMENT ACCREDITED LICENSED LOTTERY

PROMOTERS UNITED KINGDOM.

We wish to formally announce to you that you are a winner in the just concluded UK NATIONAL LOTTERY draws held on the 13thJanuary 2007. All participants were drawn from the World Wide Web where your email address drew the following number;

Ref: UK/9420X4/77

Batch: 073/05/ZY0747

Ticket Number: 5, 8, 12, 20, 28, 48 [Bonus # 40]

You have been approved for payment for the sum of £2,000,000.00 (Two Million Britain Pounds) in cash. To file for your claim, please contact our Fiduciary Agent: **********************************************************************

Mr. Bryan Wright Phone number: + 44 701 113 6261 Official Email: Foreign Services Manager

Part 2:

UK LOTTERY
CLAIMS PROCESSING DEPARTMENT.

Attn: Hui Ling,

Congratulations once again on behalf of the Uk Lottery Board. We do believe that your winnings will be put into good use for community, educational and business development.

On Behalf of the Screening Committee of Uk Lottery Board, I wish to formally announce to you that you have successfully passed the Email Screening and Verification Form Matching Test conducted for all online winners in your Category. Hence you are therefore cleared, your cheque has been issued and you can now claim your wins.

All the necessary Documents to facilitate the clearance of your cheque in your name has been processed. Your parcel contains the following Documents:

1.WINNING CHEQUE VALUED THE SUM OF ££2,000,000.00.

2.WINNING CERTIFICATE FROM THE UK NATIONAL LOTTERY.

3.CLEAR SOURCE OF FUNDS CERTIFICATES(C.S.F.C.)

4.CERTIFICATES OF ORIGIN OF FUNDS(C.O.F.)

5.LETTER OF AFFIDAVITS FROM THE BRITISH HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE, STATING THAT THE WINNING WAS RECEIVED LEGALLY FROM THE UNIVERSAL DONATION PROGRAM, AND DULY SIGNED BY THE LEGAL ATTORNEY TO THE UK NATIONAL LOTTERY.

These documents has been securely sealed and packed for security reasons which makes it impossible for anyone to view it until its been delivered to you.

Belows are some of our recent Winners:

Your parcel with identification number: CPEL/OWN/9877 has been sent to our affiliate courier Agency ( DYNAMICS CURRIER COMPANY). You are required to contact the courier officer of DYNAMICS CURRIER Delivery Service customer desk as follows:

Mr.Samuel Anderson.
Dispatch Officer
Tel:(+44) 701-112-9871
Email address: swiftdelivery_ukagent@yahoo.co.uk or
info.dynamic_currier@deliveryman.com.

so do u think this is real???

2007-01-19T13:10:00.000+08:00

went sch at 8.30 am today..for jux a fucking group consultation.. it was supposed to b on wed during our tut.. our time was at 3.10.. we arrived on time but realised tt e e 2nd group had just entered into the clsroom onli.. turns out e teacher was late n it delayed e whole cls... until 4 plus e 3rd group hadn't came out.. n we were e last group.. but there's a nxt cls coming in so e teacher had to postpone our day to today in e early morning.. but guess wat.. e teacher din even turn up at all.. fucking irresponsible can!!! she told us it was fine 8.30 in e morning but where e hell was she.. urrgh!!! n i wasn't even supposed to have sch today.. i came sch solely for e consultation.. wasted 4 to 5 hrs in sch... waiting for cousin to finish her sch so i can meet her in town lata.. dun wan go home cos its a damn waste of money... asked whether can go his house but he doesn't wan.. =(

i told her i have already let go but i realised tt i was bluffing to myself.. it isn't realli tt easy to let go when u've found someone u realli like.. lyk when u've been seeing n in contact wif someone for e past few years n u feel lost when he's suddenly not there.. its lyk tt empty feeling i have in my heart.. its realli tt empty..

jux bought a concession.. but i dunno how come it doesn't work this tym round.. goin to e SBS staff to ask em wat's e prob..

open house these few days.. there's a booth for students to enrol into CDC.. ce person said it's cheaper cos got 20% discount.. took e brochure frm them.. =)

2007-01-16T10:32:00.000+08:00

i just realised tt i dun noe how to put pics in my blog.. anyone noe how??? =P waiting for half ur for my nxt lesson.. starting at 11.. but now its onli 10.30.. e lessons onli for 1 hour till 12.. nowhere to go after tt.. hope tt someone will ask mi out.. haha.. *hint hint*

2007-01-08T16:33:00.000+08:00

met ping yest in town.. waited for her at rocky masters.. has a cup of mocha ice blended.. actually i'm not e coffee kind of person but e name 'mocha' jux appeals to mi.. lol.. saw a mini parade along e streets.. think its some commando or wat change le so they got this parade ba.. 2 small contigents.. but added to a fair amt of noise pollution.. haha.. *oops* no offence..

went heeren's day tripper to see by chance if amy's working tt day anot.. lucky she was.. agreed to wait for her to finish work (which was abt 9.30).. n which means we had a fairly considerable amt of time to spent.. lyk 4 to 5 hours??

walked to far east.. its been ages since i realli walked orchard again.. ping wanted to go there to trim her eye brows.. n wanted to see ger working in some shop at Level 1.. said its her bf's fren.. wandered arnd far east looking for her tt particular eyebrow trimming studio or wat.. but suay suay most of em were closed already..

i saw a shop selling those couple thingy.. couple mugs, frames, jigsaw, etc.. i wanted to do 1 n give it to him but dunno whether he'll accept or not cos of our relationship now.. but i guess it'll look nice if there is one such deco in his room.. specially made for him by mi.. haha.. can give him for our nxt 'anni' or for his 20th birthday.. but dun think he'll want it.. i'm not even his gf now.. so wat's e point??

anyway ping found a eyebrow trimming studio which was luckily open.. but had to wait for half hour lata.. so we went to e tattoo shop jux opp n asked e guy for some designs for e 'might be' tattoo.. he drew 3 designs within half hr.. prefered e 2nd n 3rd 1.. but feel weird having to sit there n see e designs without any confirmation of whether i'm actually doin anot.. n e paper oso cannot be taken out of e shop.. policy issues.. =( but nvr mind.. i see whether got some other designs i realli lyk anot..

walked back to cine... slacked at e food court playing hangman n her cam.. e ingenious her came up wif a set of lyrics bout mi.. i wanted it to b R&B style instead of some shit 'poem' tt dun even rhyme.. lol.. but mayb cos e ideas came frm her, tt's y e whole 'song' came out to be "uurgh".. haha!!

n finally amy finished her work.. both of us skipped dinner jux to eat an early supper wif her.. intended to eat at e outdoor KPT at 1st.. den her colleague recommend us e breakfast set meal nxt to KPT.. eating breakfast during supper.. -_-" ordered our share of eggs, saugages, ham, kaya toast n teh tarik..

n if tt wasn't enuf they went on to KPT to order somemore fishball soup n carrot cake.. sat there sit sit talk talk sit sit talk talk until ping's bf came town.. but mi n amy couldn't hang arnd too late cos our classes started 9am e nxt day.. n jux in tym we managed to catch e last 3rd train (think so) home.. so i reached home bout 12 sharp.. but for e nxt 7 hours till morning i couldn't get to slp although i realli wanted to.. think its cos my e teh tarik n mocha n coffee n tea i had in e day.. too much caffine is keeping mi awake... =( gona astrain frm it for quite some time..

cant wait for amy's birthday picnic on wed!!! =D it'll b at pasir ris park there.. n an all girls gathering.. lol.. dunno whether jo bought her present already not...

i told him tt bout mi goin e tattoo shop see e designs.. i told him i wan put 1.. his ans was still e same cold way.. 'u not my gf i care for wat'.. part of mi feel tt he has realli totally given up on this relationship.. tt's y he was answering this way.. but e other part still feels tt he still cares for mi a little, even if he dun realli treat mi as his gf.. his signals are pointing in all directions i can't realli tell which way is e real option out..

i dunno whether to let go, n each go our seperate lifes totally frm now on, or hold on n risk e fact tt i might be still be strongly habouring false hopes.. i'm currently still going with the 2nd option.. but its solely based on my gut-most feeling n what my heart tells mi.. instead of logically reading e signs.. i'm determined to go wif this option.. so i'm prepared for no matter wat the outcome may be.. him finding another gf, or anything lyk tt sort.. but there's no way i'll regret cos i know i have put in my 200% love n effort in making this relationship work..

if you are realli determined to leave this tym, i'll wish you all e best in finding someone whom you can realli put in 200% love n effort.. but otherwise, i'll b always right beside you whenever you need mi..

2007-01-05T12:53:00.000+08:00

read ping's blog.. din noe tt she n her guy were having as much prob as mi n my guy.. haha.. agreed wif what she said.. "what's a countdown without a bf by my side? i thought i could kiss him at the first minute of the new year and he will be the first person beside me to usher into a new year together. my thoughts were never understood." this yr i asked him out for new year he doesn't want to join us.. in e end he went out wif his frens to clarke quay for countdown..

i called him again in e afternoon n he said i gave him attitude which i din even realise.. wat a way to start the new year.. =( hoping things will turn out better but i have this weird feeling tt it'll b some sort the same..

sch's started.. got myself a personal organiser.. its kinda big.. wrote all e deadlines n birthdays in.. n realised tt POM n OB project are due very soon!!! =( have to realli buck up le.. sianx!!!

2007-01-01T17:43:00.000+08:00

first day of the new year: 01.01.07

new year; new resolutions

in 2007, i want to:
: earn more money
: spend my money more wisely
: do well in poly
: stop losing things
: think n listen before i speak
: retrieve back my beauty sleep
: another retail therapy on my birthday
: contact more wif my ex-girlfriends
: hang out more with my current girlfriends
: keep to the thing i gave to him

2006-12-29T13:51:00.002+08:00

its coming to e end of 2006.. things has been goin up n down in my life.. to view it topic by topic:

school - it wasnt an easy year for mi at sch.. guess it wasnt for mi onli but for everybody.. n given all e projects n e subjects i have to retake last sem.. but luckily i cleared my 2.1 but 2.2 realli sux.. mainly cos of e stupid OTBS.. hamster teacher wif an irrelevant subject which probs helps us to fail.. attachment nxt yr march or apr.. hope can clear tis sem fast fast.. its onli 3 more mths to go.. n i still haven taken my calculus n 1 more CDS.. =(

this cls of mine is weird... gers 1 grp n guys 1 grp.. lol... (anyway its not said by mi.. its by our teachers) n cos its such a small cls of 14 ppl onli (which makes 7 each side).. us gers will always b hanging out almost together.. amy got closer to us this sem.. n grateful for tt.. she's a fun girlfriend to b wif.. n cos of her i got closer to jo (n by coincidence she's my guy's fren's ex clsmate) together wif hanis n ying..

work- its e same here n there.. stopped work for a few mths cos he got banned.. lyk i said.. wanted to go other hotel try try.. he started work at grand coptherone.. but he work there for 1 day den nvr work already.. unable to book.. so i'm back in mandarin.. but it seems so boring now to work there.. he's not working there.. en ci n ling zhen oso now seldom come back le.. no more fun.. n e rest of e ppl either i dunno or aren't tt close to.. FEEL SO BORED N LONELY WORKING THERE!!! ppl came n went.. collin jensen allan juliana all left.. n new managers (iskandar n mario-lookalike) n parttimers came in.. some of em were so sia lan.. 1st tym when saw em they started diao-ing ppl.. lyk those unfriendly stares.. haha..

relationship - things had realli taken a bad turn for us this year.. especially during the mth of june to sept.. but hope its now over n things will turn better for e new year.. dun wana sae too much bout this cos too much has been said. =)

n bout ur family prob, i'll always b by urside n give u my support.. morally, financially or physically.. =D love love, xing xing.. =)

2006-12-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

christmas eve was spent at brian's house.. cabbed there wif xing n joe arnd evening.. raining.. n e weather sucks big time.. cold n wet.. their house was well decorated.. it looks some sort lyk new yr deco at 1st sight.. wif all e red cushions n whats not..

was in brian's room reading his mags.. his mum invited us down for dinner.. truly a christmas feast.. haha.. christmas delicacies were set buffet style.. wif choice of lamb, turkey, etc n there's salad n not to mention my favourite mushroom soup!! even their tables were set western style to welcome their guests who haven ate their dinner.. looks kinda lyk those formal family dinner..

zach came after, followed by dan n kel.. ning came last.. n by e tym she came nobody wanted to go down fetch her.. cos they were pai seh cos of all e adult guest sitting at e dining table.. goin to e frnt door would mean we wld have to walk past e em n it feels kinda wierd to have em looking n smiling at u.. haha.. so it became mi who went down n when i opened e frnt door she was goin to call brian to come down fetch her.. haha..

we jus stayed in e room slacking.. reading mags, playing computer n e guys were trying out e weights in his room.. christmas came n presents were exchanged.. we proceeded to e 'living room' in e 2nd level.. played cop n murderer n indian poker.. wif beer n martell as punishment.. after e games nick bought out his collection of vodka.. + ning's sundra (her sis mixed vodka wif passion fruit or wat) + e bottle of tequila n sake.. of course wif some mixers.. played 156.. zach got e most hit.. got 1 tym he almost cleared all e drinks tt were layed.. haha..

soon after they went to play xbox.. played 5-10 for a while wif xing ning nick n his fren den after tt change to dai dee.. nick taught mi n ning how to play val 13.. its kinda similar to dai dee except tt e sequence n playing method is diff.. mi n ning went on to play another cute game.. tortise jump.. haha.. it was so funny we 2 play tt we had a laughing stitch.. lol.. furthermore wif all tequila vodka n those gassy drinks.. laugh until pain cos stomach very full already..

finally went to bed arnd 4 plus.. dan kel n zach went home.. so mi ning joe n xing stayed over.. slept in e guest room.. cold sia..

i have a feeling i know what i think i noe..

2006-12-24T16:10:00.000+08:00

You have filled the tiniest portion in my heart,

but your bits and pieces meant to the whole world to me.

You may leave and steal everything from me,

yet traces of you will never be wiped away.

2006-12-23T18:25:00.000+08:00

jus received e shocking news tt he'll b working in dbl O.. its lyk totally not expected when i asked him when he'll b working grand coptherone nxt week.. he said he'll not b working there but will working at dbl O.. lyk wat the fuck lah.. i'm still e last to noe somemore.. i told him b4 i'm strongly against him working in clubs.. which gf in e hell of a right mind will allow her guy to work in club??

i'm already scared enuf tt he'll two time mi again.. if it happened once, there's a likely chance it'll happen again.. n e fact tt he dun let mi tag along wherever he goes makes mi tighten my reins..

he go grand coptherone wif his frens he leave mi alone.. ask mi go find other job.. come on lor.. we leave we leave mandarin together.. he said we'll go find job n interview together wif eric n raymond but wat's happening now?? he pang seh mi to go find job wif his 'brothers'.. den now he got job i dun have.. nth at all.. i din pang seh him by goin back mandarin work.. den now he's doing tt to mi..

go out wif his frens he dun wan mi come.. he rather mi stay at home slp while he go enjoy himself outside wif his frens.. he came home n tell mi tt he's goin town wif dan chua ning they all.. i asked whether i can go he give all kinds of excuses sae wat i go oso nth to do there.. i'll b bored wif his frens.. waste money blah blah blah.. can see straight to e blank point tt he doesn't want mi to go at all.. i said i wan but he was lyk reluctant.. change halfway hear him still give all e excuses n tt when he ok already he go off.. decided to change back.. if he dun wan mi go i dun go lah.. still sae nice nice stay at home cont slp.. give example wat i go watch movie wif my frens he oso nvr tag along..

it's SUPER OBVIOUS tt he doesnt wan mi tag along lor.. sae if go out we go out alone together.. but did he realise tt he's out wif his frens practically everytime n it doesnt give mi a chance to go out wif him? onli time when i'm wif him is onli at his house onli.. n whenever i wanted to ask him out he always got plans.. jus tt tym we had nth to do e whole day.. tt 1 day onli... asked him wan to go town together.. he said dun wan.. den after tt he called kel ask him wan go town.. den in e end both if em went together n guess wat.. he left mi at home to ROT!!!

he said tt we look lyk we're in a relationship but in fact we're not.. cos its damn bored being wif mi.. come on again.. of course its damn bored when u keep pang seh mi at home to enjoy wif ur frens lah.. go town go anywhere wif ur frens.. ask mi stay at home rest n slp.. u make mi look lyk such a boring person whole lyf jux stay in ur house n slp..

2006-12-22T03:07:00.000+08:00

watched "night at e museum".. given its popularity n e no of advertisement publicised, no wonder its quite nice.. heart warming.. blah blah blah.. its kinda a nice show worth e $7.50 paid.. waited for amy to finish her work at heeren.. hanis n ying din come last min.. =( so onli left we 2.. intended to catch e 9.50 time slot but sadly it was all sold out.. n e nxt slot at 11.15 was filling fast.. so we had to catch e 12.05 show..

anyway we had arnd 2 hrs to slack.. so we went KPT to makan.. ordered e oyster omelette n hokkien mee.. saw how they handled their food.. using bare hands to grab e ingredients.. =( yuck.. no gloves.. wonder if health inspection officer does patrol arnd tt area frequently.. haha.. was there bout 1 hr.. e nxt hr we din noe wat to do so we jux walked to n fro orchard looking at e lights n doin some window shopping... she bought some cute cute scotchtape which she thinks are useful to her.. haha.. e cinema was packed.. it was surprisingly full house given tt tym of e day.. filled up all e way to e 1st row.. but anyway enjoyed e show.. stupid amy kana scared at some partd tt she used my sleeve to cover her eyes.. lol..

2006-12-20T20:41:00.001+08:00

schools off n holidays on!! finally can try enjoy myself for these mere 2 weeks .. meet my mum n younger sis for dinner.. i went to buy some stuff alone 1st b4 meeting em at mall.. had e ichiban sushi for dinner which costs us arnd 70 bucks.. its kinda similar to sakae.. those belt thingy.. but its onli for some tables.. e rest had to order frm e menu.. their food were similar to sakae (but comeon.. all e jap stores sell e same stuffs) onli tt can see they got put in effort to decorate e sushis.. they din have e soup i wan.. =( but nevertheless, sakae's still e best.. at least their soft shell crab isn't so thin n scrawny n their fried toufu doesn't taste as not nice as e 1 frm ichiban sushi.. can see tt their toufu wasn't defrosted tt fully to e extent tt e toufu skin was hard n unchewable.. -_-"

walk walk arnd hougang mall... its been ages since i've been there.. last tym study in holy when it was near there still went there quite frequently for lunch.. now study in TP not so le.. went to e pasar malam nearby walk walk, although there's not much thingy.. saw my sis n her bf there.. they were goin mall for lunch.. n guess wat? she was wearing my shirt without my knowledge.. she saw mi looking n quickly used her jacket to cover.. =( anyway after tt met my papa to go home..

baby finally found a job @ GRAND COPTHERONE.. e place where my whole family went to attend e wedding lunch of my cousin.. good lah.. he got job now... sometimes after work can oso go zouk clubbing n meet more girls n dance with them.. haha.. n guess wat?? i'm still jobless... any job recommendations?

1 week left to go.. pls remind mi to do OTBS n LAW project..

2006-12-17T22:22:00.000+08:00

i'm still feeling super unsecure.. dunno y.. everytym we break there's bound to b gers msging him.. confirm 100% gurantee + chop.. but when we're together i seldom see this kind of msg coming in.. peeped into his fone n saw e conversation between him n doreen.. e ger he two timed mi wif last year.. dunno its for a few weeks or months...

1 part of e conversation is she told him she jux broke up wif her bf recently.. n he asked her whether is it cos of him.. tt left mi wondering.. what does their break up has to do wif him in such a way tt he had to ask her this question? are they still constantly in contact through the past 1 yr or are they still together? n e other part of e conversation was tt she told him she cut herself n he told her tt no matter what, he'll b right there for her.. i tried doin e same thing but what n how he said to mi was entirely differently to how he said to her.. she got his care but i got his scolding..

he told mi he care for her as a fren.. can see tt his care for a 'fren' is far greater than his care for an ex-gf he jux broke up wif a day before.. i duno whether its solely as a fren or as an ex-bf or a bf.. in fact i dunno whether he DOES have feelings for her.. tried probing from him but everytym i approach this subject, his mood will change to b nasty.. its lyk he dun wan mi talk bout her.. but its cos i feel unsecure n i wanna noe what's between them.. how far their relationship is progressing n other related stuff.. =(

call this women's intuition or 6th sense.. but hope i'm wrong... i keep having this feeling tt its not over for them at all.. he still lyks her.. onli i'm this stubborn obstacle which wun budge at all, n furthermore wanting to chase her totally out from his life... *i'm such an evil girl* i felt tt i've already lost a part of him.. dunno whether to her or other gers.. he told mi tt they did some stuff together, and judging by tt tym when he showed mi his neoprint photos, on seeing how close n loving e 2 of em were together, i kind of believe tt they realli did those stuff, given their past together..

i realli want to determine their relationship at this present moment.. are they still together or does he still lyk her or to what extent was their relationship to or does he still lyk mi.. i realli realli want those answers..

i dunno how women will react to this kind of situation.. hate e guy or hate e ger or both. but i noe in my case, i dun hate e guy.. in fact, i still love him n want to b wif him.. but i DO hate e ger.. hatred right down to e core. hatred tt she stole him away from mi.. hatred tt she dare lie right to my face tt she n him were onli frens when she still call him dear, baby all tt.. hatred tt she noe he's 2-timing her wif some1 else n she still gladly n happily b e 3rd party.. hatred tt she's got no moral of conduct, trying to hid things from his proper gf n break a relationship.. hatred tt she took all those neoprints together wif him.. wif em kissing n being so lovey dovey to each other.. hatred tt she made mi believe tt she n him had realli nth goin on when there was actually someting on.. hatred tt i still allow him to console her when her ah ma died.. hatred tt she dare to contact him n tell him she n her bf jux broke up n wanted to chit chat wif him right in front of my presence..

i realli dunno wat he sees in her.. cute? sexy? pretty? sporty? flirty? caring? emotional? poor thing cos she always gets dumped by bfs?

to mi she's none of the above.. but except for e last part tt she always get dumped by guys.. in fact to mi she's jux a bitch cos she tries to break up other people's relationship.. some one who's name not even worth mentioning n lyks to act cute in her pictures she take.. 19 yrs old already still use those act cute poses used in secondary school.. -_-" n somemore she look abit lyk bapok frm her pics.. i realli dunno wat he sees in her..

hope tt time can realli heal all wounds.. wif him but especially not wif her.. not in this lifetime n it sure wun b e nxt few. its still hatred n still hatred for her.

2006-12-14T23:00:00.000+08:00

finally.. term test gonna b over soon.. 2 more papers to go.. i dunno y e heck i choosed law as my CDS.. have to sit for another paper on sat while e rest will b having their last paper tml..

my studying method was damn crap.. its lyk high low den abit high again.. spent 2 days studying jus for 1 POM, 1 half a day for SANDS n gradually decreasing to lesser than 2 hourse for OB..

n e OB paper was damn sucky.. e teacher din release e topics to study (which meant we had to study for 6 chapters) out of which onli bout 2 chapters were most impt.. din study at all for OTBS.. cos its an open book.. but i guess will b cramming for law ba.. i dun wanna retain 4.1 jux to take my CDS.. (guess what i mean by my studying method high-low-abit high?? haha)

cant wait for hols to start, buden we still have projects to do.. OTBS, Law, POM, OB, Socio.. n for goodness sake e OTBS has to b handed in on e 3rd jan 9AM!!.. lucky thing is we dun have any lessons on tt day cos its meant to online learning.. but e unlucky things is all e BIT students have to come sch specially b4 9am jux to upload e project into e server.. super sian lor.. =(

baby's having some family prob.. n i wanna tell him tt no matter wat, i'll stand by him if he needs me... =)

2006-12-05T21:48:00.000+08:00

i realli love this baby of mine alot.. i always wanted n intended to make this relationship last a very very very long time.. but somehow or the other i always end up contradicting myself.. n harming this relationship..

all this contradicting stuff has made him started to believe mi lesser n lesser.. even though i din wan to believe it, its true. i wanted to keep to my word on wat i said n promised him but some of e things are hard to do so.. lyk tis instance.. said i wun smoke but i still ended up sharing half a stick wif amy she got from her fren. she said tt smoke abit he cant find out n tt got mi tempted..

perserverance and determination are lacking in mi. I NID U BACK!

e devil's taking control over in my head.. where's my angel??!!!

i dun wanna cont this way.. i realli dun wanna harm this relationship any longer.. HELP!!! i wan him trust mi once again.

i'm making a damn fucking serious vow now.. in frnt of u peeps hu happen to read this blog.. I WUN SMOKE, EVEN IF IT'S HALF A STICK OR 1 FULL STICK, I WUN SMOKE ANYMORE.

n to amy tan.. please please please do not ask mi share sticks wif u anymore.. although its onli twice but its having a drastic effect in my relationship. i'm not goin to do tt ever again..

i realli dunno e reason why n why i always managed to do all these stupid n senseless things t harm this relationship.. can someone please tell mi y?? i realli nid an ans.. =(

i just got him back.. with alot effort.. i realli dun wan lose him anymore.. =(

**sorry i've let u down time n time again.. i din do my part as a gf n i do admit tt.. i wanna take away all these flaws but i always manage to do so onli for a short while.. its lyk e saying "the soul is willing but the flesh is weak". i realli nid tt determination to get all these flaws outta mi.. i noe u wun wait but i hope u'll give mi a chance to patch everything back.. u mean everything in my life n i dun wanna lose u anymore. sorry for being a lousy gf but i realli DO want to change.. n 1 more thing.. i wan u to noe tt:

despite all tt has happened, regardless of whether it all started wif mi, u're still e one n onli guy deep in my heart whom i loved so much. i will do whatever i can to b back with u again.. i love u.

2006-12-04T14:49:00.000+08:00

ripped from ping.

1. Single, taken or crushing?

taken .

2. Are you happy with your life now?
ok ok la, except for e projects in sch making myself stresses out.. -_-"

3. When you meet the right person, will you fall for him/her fast?
depends on certain criteria

4. Have you had your heart broken?
yups.

5. Do you believe there are circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
depends on the situation. but otherwise no.. (i wanna b faithful to one).. =D

6. Would you talk to someone back if he/she cheats on you?
ya.. i wanna find out e reason why.

7. Have you talk to another person about marriage before?
to guy: onli 1.. to ger: some..

8. Do you want children?
of course.. =)

9. How many?
2 or 3.. haha

10. Would you consider adoption?
dun think so..

11. If someone likes you right now, and you have the same feeling for him/her will you accept?
does tis refer to being single or attached?

12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships?
sometimes yes, n sometimes no.

13. Do you break down for anyone before?
countless for this 1 guy.. (i'm being emo)

14. Do you believe in love at first sight?
in e past. but now no.

15. Are you romantic?
i love romanticness, but i dunno whether i'm 1..

16. Do you believe you can change someone?
i tried onli succeeded for a short while. -_-"

17. If you could marry somewhere, where would it be?
in a church where e wedding bells chime.. =)

18. Do you easily give in when you're fighting?
depends on who.. if to my sisters, NO! to others prob yes.. cos i'm a peaceful person.. LOL

19. Do you have feelings for someone right now?
XING JIN. =D

20. Have you ever wish you could have someone but you messed it up?
in some sort of way, ya.

21. Have you broken a heart?
ya. n i regretted tt.

22. One day if your best friend fall in love with he/she that you are deeply in love with, what would you do?
i dunno.. if he lyks her too, jus wish e both of em happy..

23. Are you missing someone right now?
him, him n him. he's still in sch.. sian.. =(

2006-11-29T08:56:00.000+08:00

things he does that makes me feel touched.

1. when i fell sick during tt period, he took great care of mi.. this is 1 moment i wun ever forget. 2. he gave mi a surprise by coming to sch during my lunch break with his new hair cut just to eat lunch with mi n go back home.
3. he tucks mi neatly into bed those nights before we go to slp
4. he wakes me up by hugging mi n tucking mi neatly.. cos somehow or e other i always kick something off
5. he blended fruit juice for mi.. specially
6. he tries making it a condusive environment for mi to study
7. whenever we watch movie at home, he'll make e atmosphere cosy and comfortable. until i feel lyk falling asleep
8. he pampers mi and makes mi feel loved when he's in a good mood
9. he pays for most of our expenses whenever we go out. (if he got e cash lah)
10. he buys stuffs for mi without mi requesting for it.
11. his little little surprises always nvr fail to make mi happy e.g. tt tym i expected him not to come home so early, cos he told mi tt.. n e nxt moment he pop out of e door n TA DA!!! he's home.. =)
12. he gives mi morning call cos he's afraid i cant get up intime for school
13. no matter how many times i made him angry, he'll forgive mi.
14. he's my baby, n i'm grateful for tt.

n cos of all these things, i VOW to myself nvr to do unnecessary stuff to make him angry anymore. unless i cant help it.. i dun wan do things tt will make him angry.

2006-11-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

"101 things bout him"? haha. i doubt i could write that much. perhaps 30 will do =)

1. he's full of crappy actions. anytime.
2. not onli crappy but sometimes is also stupid and retarded.. =P
3. i love this cute and innocent side of him.. =)
4. he has his close buddies name joe, brian, zach and daniel.
5. daniel's back from aussie for 3 weeks.
6. he wants to go perth somewhere nxt year.
7. he likes to wear dark colours.
8. with some mixtures of white and red.

9. he loves drinking and club DJs.

10. he loves acting. since young.

11. music is a part of his life. MAJOR. especially english.

12. he likes to work and have fun at the same time. (this is called LIFE)

13. he slps when he is bored and tired.

14. he hates studying and dreads school.

15. he's having monday blues such that he always wishes friday will come faster. =P

16. if he's fucking angry, DO NOT try to irritate him somemore.

17. his mum told mi that he got his bad traits of hot temper and impatience from his dad.

18. he loves soccer and gyming to tone up his bod.

19. he drink mass gainer (it's got quite a good effect,, except on e tummy tt is.. haha)

20. he's very interested in technological accessories. laptops, handphone, mp3, blah blah blah.

21. he brings his mini pillow to school sometimes.

22. he hates his mon and wed 8am clses.

23. TV is not a part of his life, except for soccer matches.

24. he can save if he wants to, but he can also spend if he wants to. =P

25. in other words, he is a bit of a spendthrift and a thrift..=P

26. he can be serious if he wants to. n i find him very cute when he's like this. VERY. =)

27. the one of the few chinese singer he likes is emil chou. and some songs sang by BEYOND

28. he has a cute little baby girl. =)

29. it's the 20th month right now and still counting.

30. and he's my boy =)

2006-11-11T16:39:00.000+08:00

I feel so sentimental today that my itchy hands has decided to blog something about me and baby..

The first time we met was in mandarin. Meritus Mandarin. its e day my O'levels finish. mi, wen qi, eve n jes wanted to go every hotel in orchard to interview for banquet. tried all the hotels along orchard rd, starting from dhoby ghaut station all the way to somerset. i rmb it was raining very heavily. each hotel we went into din wan us.. mayb cos no experience ba..

we walked into e Banquet office in Mandarin asking them whether they nid part timers, we were accepted right on the spot. wen qi n jes backed out last min.. so mi n eve started our life in mandarin. when i started working, guys attention were on mi.. mayb it was cos i enjoyed this attention (i din have this kind of attention in my pri n sec sch yrs.. all e more not in my life) tt's y i started my flirtatious ways..

bout 2 weeks after i entered, i went wif a guy who wooed mi.. it was a short relationship lasting bout less than 1 mth.. no hard feelings but i dunno y i went wif him in e 1st place.. but anyway after we break he went wif a ger hu also jux came in.. elizabeth.. their relationship was also a short 1.. even shorter than mi i guess.. but mi n elizabeth had lot of things to gossip behind his back.. haha.. all e nasty stuff abt this particular guy.. lol..

anyway fast forward to end of jan.. i came to add my this precious baby in my msn.. we din talk much in the hotel.. n our first conversation started over in here.. chatted bout poly enrolment stuff.. dunno y but i felt super at ease talking to him, especially for someone i dunno tt well.. rarely lyk tis.. we exchanged numbers n frm there we had more contact.. forwarding msgs all tt stuff..

came a tym i told him smthing tt sounded lyk i lyk him.. in msn.. n frm there he made his move.. he started developing feelings for mi.. e moment came during our trip to the zoo.. it was e most memorable one for mi.. e pimple on both our noses.. haha.. e way he cares for mi, letting mi drink his water, etc.. this is the one and onli date tt left a deep impression in my heart.. anyway, he asked mi that question the next day, 26.03.05, 10:13:26 am.. i accepted..

e 1st mth was smooth but subsequently the nxt few mths were a trying period.. we had our breakups at least once a mth.. but most of the breaks and patches were initiated by mi.. n there came a tym when i wanted to break wif him.. i forgot over what.. he cried realli hard, asking mi not to leave him.. it realli touched my heart n i felt so bad cos its e 1st tym in my life i made a guy cry..

i guess that was when i realli started to put my heart into this relationship.. however, e nxt few times we broke up was cos of my flirtatious ways.. he felt i was unfaithful to him... cos of e guys who kept msging mi forward msgs..

n so he went on to hav a two timed relationship with mi and doreen.. i was being kept in e dark.. i was the onli one hu dunno.. even his frens knew bout this.. anyway, all e msgs she sent him made mi felt really jealous n insecure.. so much so tt even when he told mi tt he n her were not together (which was a lie), i din believe him n i bit him hard.. real hard when he tried to get close to mi..

i was starting to love him alot alot but i always seem not to show it physically.. we break over the minor things lyk hiding things behind his back, lying to him all tt stuff.. all these breakups must have taken a toll on us.. he felt sian of all e breaks and patchs n sometimes i do feel e same..

in may 2006 it was my turn to two time him (although we were not together at tt tym already) i went with another guy while trying to woo him back.. it was for a few short weeks when he found out.. i was so close to patching wif him (by then e guy will be history).. he found out bout it, n he started all his confessions out of anger.. bout the fact he DID went wif her in sep 2005.. and some others..

n all e nasty words and vulgarities started coming out from him.. in front of his dad and brother.. tt was the one time i saw what he can do when he's realli angry.. things got broken n ppl got hurt.. i realised tt tym how much i meaned to him.. he was angry tt i betrayed him n lied to him.. n this is 1 thing i regreted doing.. this is one thing i vowed to myself tt something lyk this will never ever happen again..

we got back together after some time... but i sensed tt there was still uncertainty n insecureness in his heart.. i wanted to gain all these back.. but another downturn came when i deleted his frenster cos of miscommunication in my part.. this led to our breakup n again, i got him back.. partly cos he felt i was sincerely feeling bad bout it n e things i said i will change..

As I forward our relationship to now, 19 mths has past and we're still holding hands. despite all the hard times we had, we fabricated lots of funny and stupid memories!! your actions, my dumbness, your loving, my jealousness, your caring, my pamperedness. he loves to fart without any warning. he loves to pinch my fats n comment on them.. haha.. i love to pat him to slp while looking at his face.. his look of tt sleep peacefulness, his look of everything that makes my life perfect..

able to see him the moment i open my eyes is the most beautiful moment that will ever happen after a night's sleep. That is what make my day going on.

he used to go my sch and wait for me to finish cls but now cos of his busy schedule he's unable to.. its a small action but it realli means alot to mi.. all the small things he does, even as small as tucking mi into bed to the big things such as making a meal for me, i truly appreciate it.

this is the first time i felt so much for one guy cos of the things he does for me.. i realli want so stick to this promise n i hope in times to come, e trying times will gradually lessen.. we've been through so much i dun wan to go thru anymore of it again. HUI LING LOVES YOU.

*two words says it all.. faithfulness and trust.

2006-11-11T14:38:00.000+08:00

ENTERTAINMENT
Preferably at HOME. His home.. watching downloaded movies while waiting for him to come home.. jus being in any place with his presence makes mi feel entertained.

FRIENDS
I contacted no one that is why no one contacted me (except in school) but I am not lonely.

BOYFRIEND
Cuter and lovable each day. he pampers mi with his small actions (although he does not notice it =P) and his love and care for mi is the same frm the past till the present.. except if i piss him off..

2006-11-05T16:43:00.000+08:00

Copied frm ting's blog..

Title: good advice
1) Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2) Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3) Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4) When you say, "I love you," mean it.
5) When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
6) Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7) Believe in love at first sight.
8) Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
9) Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10) In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11) Don't judge people by their relatives.
12) Talk slowly but think quickly.
13) When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
14) Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15) Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
16) When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
17) Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
18) Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19) When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20) Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21) Spend some time alone.

2006-11-04T13:40:00.000+08:00

finally i do have e time to blog.. sch was ok.. at least ok for e first 2 weeks.. haha.. cos its kinda slack apart frm e projects we had.. of all my 6 subs, i had projects for 5 of em n 1 of it is individual project.. but lucky we onli had to sit for 3 papers at e main exam so i guess its kinda ok.. classes wasnt tt boring wif hanis ying ying they all.. this sem our cls i guess was 1 of e most little ppl de.. 5 ppl gone.. there's onli 15 left..

edited my timetable for e 3rd time.. change lectures, add subject, change lecture again.. actually i'm ok wif my current timetable.. onli tt i dun wan my lessons to finish so late tt's y..

bought ipod video for 600 plus.. e original price was 598.. but then i oso applied for e Challenger membership tt makes it 600 plus.. so those hu wanna buy stuff frm Challenger can help mi use e membership.. lol... left less tham 500 bucks in my bank.. shld start saving le ba..

back wif him again.. its funny how when we break everytym i always somehow or the other manage to get him back.. but i'm truly grateful for tt.. ppl sae he look so hot-tempered n ask y i lyk him.. but its this tt makes him him.. n they dunno him well enuf tt's y they dun see the good side of him.. n its this good side of him tt makes mi lyk him even more.. true.. he got his bad points which i sometimes cannot tahan but there's surely a way out of tt.. his smoking, hot-temper n impatientness.. all these are usually the characteristics of a guy so wat u expect.. -_-"

2006-10-19T11:11:00.000+08:00

jux got my timetable.. been very impatient jux waiting for it.. checking it everyday jux to see onli e last sem's timetable.. anyway.. my this timetable i kinda lyk it.. except for 4 days 9am, i can end sch on certain days.. but thurs seems kinda heavy to mi cos its 3 tutorials consecutively n each lasting for 2 hrs.. taking onli 5 subs.. =) but heard frm ppl tt OB is damn tough.. anyway
here's my timetable..

mon:
9 to 11 - tut
11 to 1 - lec
3 to 5 - lec
(i can choose to end sch at 11 or 1 or 5 to meet him.. =P cos he finish his lesson at 3)

tues:
9 to 11 - tut
11 to 12 - tut
(he end sch at 12.30.. nice timing for us.. =) )

wed:
9 to 10 - lec
11 to 1 - lab
(i can come sch at 11.. can slp abit more.. haha.. but he'll finish sch at 5.30.. =( tt means i'll b free frm 1 to 5.30)

thurs:
9 to 11 - tut
11 to 1 - tut
2 to 4 - tut
(get wat i mean as heavy schedule? anyway he end sch at 5.30.. can see him.. =) )

fri:
2 to 3 - lec
3 to 5 - lec
(& guess wat this means? i can dun go sch at all on fri.. haha.. cos if a go sch i onli have 2 hrs to b wif him.. he end sch at 12.. =( )

2006-10-17T14:20:00.000+08:00

celeberated doris's birthday.. met her at 7 n we headed to town to meet yi zhen.. had to wait for hui shi to come frm jurong tt's y we din ate first.. shop shop arnd heeren looking for a sandal for yi zhen..

we entered new urban male n while they were taking a look at the shoes, i went browsing arnd the bikinis.. jux when i was looking there's this staff kept looking at mi.. i felt abit awkward n uncomfotable so i pretended to finish looking n went to fins doris they 2.. suddenly e staff called out my name.. i turn arnd n got a surprise.. guess hu.. its soo bin.. lol.. din noe he's working there... he said he saw mi come in i look very familiar.. but he dunno whether he shld call mi anot.. finally he decided to call when i was goin find em.. so he wun feel so sia suay if he call e wrong person.. haha.. chatted wif him abit b4 goin find doris n yi zhen..

they bought them each a pair of sandals n i forked out half of e price for doris birthday present.. tt tym was arnd 9 plus n we went decided to go vi'lage to wait for hui shi.. she came arnd 9.30 n we had our dinner after tt.. took foto wif e cow outside heeren b4 we took the mrt to raffles hotel to meet hui ting.. she finish work arnd 10.30..

we got kinda lost in e raffles city shopping mall.. 3 out of the 4 exits were closed n we had to search for e way out.. n e signs pointed in the wrong direction.. in e end manage to go out by e hotel's lobby.. haha.. it seems they start closing the doors at 11pm sharp..

met hui ting.. she look prettier but skinner abit than i last saw her in sec sch.. went to e pub near their hotel.. we meeting her guy n his fren to go smoke sheesha.. e guy's fren (both are malays) is one of e boss in saraha pub.. anyway doris they ordered beer n yi zhen ordered vodka cranberry while i ordered tequila pop.. played some games n chatted a bit while waiting for e guys..

when we left for sahara it was already 12 plus.. smoked sheesha strawberry flavour n after tt change to grape.. grape taste nicer.. haha.. each had a diff drink.. i think its cos its own ppl tt's y they make e taste a bit thicker.. mine was long island tea.. yi zhen drank mai tai while doris drank strawberry daiquiri.. huiting n hui shi had lychee martini n it taste very nice..

slacked at there.. e whole place's some sort of turkish arabic style.. we had cushions n it seems very nice to slp there.. haha..

e OM made waterfall for doris.. as a birthday present.. he used e bottle as e fall wif e martini glass below.. doris din manage to drink all.. she swallowed e first mouth but she felt e heat so she stored e rest into her mouth.. in e end her mouth became numb.. haha.. mi n hui ting drank e rest for her..

soon after tt he gave us each a shot of sex on e beach n tequila shot.. sex on e beach tastes very nice.. its peach flavour..

we left for home arnd 2 plus 3.. doris had to go sch tml.. i wonder if she can wake up when she drank so much.. haha.. left hui ting n her bf n his fren there.. wanted to pay abit but e malay guy said nvr mind.. no nid pay.. mmm.. think it'll b kinda ex ba.. wif all e drinks n shots we had..

2006-10-16T15:32:00.000+08:00

1 moment i ask u whether u still love mi alot.. u said ya.. but whenever i 'make you angry' u will tell mi tt u dun love mi anymore.. i keep wondering why ur this love for mi is lyk a rollercoaster.. top of e climax at one moment but down at it the other moment..

and for those moments when we broke up some of it is not caused by my wrongdoings.. i have been trying very hard to abide by the rules i set for my self in order to b e perfect ger.. i'm proud to sae i've achieved most of tt.. (in case u nvr notice)

some of e times when we broke is when u tot i did something bhind ur back when u heard or saw something regarding me.. thus u had the mistaken idea.. i've been clearing up e mess, trying to prove to you i din do all those things other ppl said, n each tym i do this is to try get u back.. if i'm realli wrong, i'll admit..

i noe u'll rather believe other ppl than mi, and its partly cos of ur trust i've let down last tym.. i've been trying very hard to regain this trust, but its somehow affected by e ppl arnd us.. i'm still trying, n i wish u can give mi a chance to do so..

u dont lyk my surroundings, n to b frank, i dun lyk much of it myself.. but both our lives does not revolve arnd em nor they arnd us.. n for e future it'll still b e same.. cos if given e chance i hope i can go into ur surroundings.. i realli dun wan my family to b e reason for our breakup.. its realli not worth it.

2006-10-15T10:52:00.000+08:00

went to celebrate ah ma's 84 birthday... somewhere in a restaurant along joo chiat road.. rabbit n seafood restaurant or something lyk tt.. i can onli rmb rabbit n restaurant.. haha.. was quite near hudson's gf house.. i rmb e buildings.. i rmb waiting wif baby over there for hudson to send her gf home..

most of e family members were there.. some came late, others din turn up due to busy schedule.. sandy din come cos of her sch thingy.. ping came late wif her guy.. he bought bird nest for ah ma n ping said she was so happy.. haha..

my relatives were asking mi where's my guy.. cos every of my cousin of eligible age brought their bf.. e most can b seen frm ting's family.. even ting brought hers.. haha..

had a 8 course meal.. wif red wine n bird nest n tea for beverage.. (red wine wif bird nest tastes nice.. kinda nice mix.. =P) ping's dad kept refilling our wine n darrell n his dad's on e rock.. can see he's enjoying himself alot at e dinner.. haha..

n i love e way they cook the garoupa.. its a totally diff mthd frm mandarin n e taste was superb.. n e prawns.. stopped jux b4 dessert for e cake cutting.. i was full by e noodle... ping jio mi over her table for a game of finger guessing.. 4 glasses of on e rock..

after dinner was supposed to go watch movie.. mi n ping while her guy went zouk.. but while we were at cine i dunno y i suddenly told her there'll b mahjong session at ah ma house.. haha.. n cos she sounded so interested we jux cancelled our movie n boarded a cab straight to amk..

opened 2 tables.. played wif zheng zheng n 2nd aunt n guess wat.. i won 24 bucks.. =) but we onli finish playing e south wind.. cos 2nd aunt wanna slp.. its 2 plus in e morning le..

changed to playing xbox.. alot of games yuan yuan have.. intending to borrow 1 or 2 to play at baby's house.. =P after tt changed to playing e keyboard n yuan yuan played his er hu.. 3 plus in e morning.. -_-" kinda noisy ba.. lol.. jux nice baby called mi.. he was asking bout wat's tt noise.. (frm e er hu i mean) lol.. switched to playing com games.. he said using Ares to dl is abit better den limewire in terms of connection.. might consider trying out tt.. played 02 jam.. i think i stared at the screen for too long.. so long tt when i turn to look at e cupboard e whole thing was moving.. lyk in e 02 game.. haha

i cant wait to see my handsome guy in his handsomest outfit wif e tie i tied for him.. =)

2006-10-11T22:43:00.000+08:00

FINALLY.. n baby got banned frm mandarin.. after 3 yrs of working there.. after all e naughty things he n his frens did to tt hotel for e past 3 yrs.. caught by AM colin for drinking after work.. right in frnt of e staff lift.. suay suay tt he had to walk by there.. a case of e wrong place at the right time.. not onli him but oso eric poh n jie biao.. jie biao was by right e innocent party.. but he was oso banned cos he din stop e both of em frm drinking.. n tt's kinda a ridiculus reason to ban a very good n old staff.. 3 old staff to be exact..

din noe bout it at first.. until i was bout to go out of e hotel walking past the male locker when i saw him bout to go in.. n his first sentence to mi "i going home.. i kana banned by colin" realli surprised me.. less than 15 mins ago he still told mi he n eric will probably b goin act 1 to slp.. they working 7am tml so they'll b slping over at e hotel..

soon after he went in to change he came out of e locker saying his white shirt has been stolen.. 2nd time already.. in e end he have to wear e mandarin shirt home.. damn suay sia.. 1st banned for drinking.. 2nd shirt kana stolen.. 3rd he cant get his pay for e day cos he keyed in e wrong pass no.. have to wait for a mth more probably.. plus his taxi fare n his memo for shortage of hours haven take yet..

will b changing to either marina mandarin or ritz carlton.. see how 1st.. =P

2006-10-04T01:18:00.000+08:00

bought my dear coussie ping to mandarin for interview 2day.. eddie was trying to flirt wif her.. haha.. sam interviewed her wif alot of questions.. y she din hand in her registration n e injection form after she went for e training last yr.. n y she wait after so long to come back.. haha.. she had to take her injection again.. e mandarin clinic was closed so we had to go to paragon for her injection.. e queue was super long tt i believed tt we were there for almost an hour.. finally had her turn..

caught a movie.. but we missed e starting cos we were to busy playing e photo hunt in e arcade.. e movie was funny.. but a certain part was touching.. but kinda boring.. i jux wana watch e funny parts.. anyway we watch rob-b-hood.. nice show.. =) went to marche for dinner after tt.. after e renovation e name change to village.. but i still call it marche.. hu cares.. haha..

wanted to ask baby to come along but he keep saying dun wan.. he sae all gers.. =( its lyk so long i nvr go out wif him already liao lor.. he's always out wif his frens.. i'm hardly able to ask him out for date.. even for a movie or dinner @ a restaurant.. e last tym i went out wif him was lyk countless weeks ago ba.. hope there'll b a time i'm able to date him out when he's free..

2006-09-19T13:57:00.000+08:00

i din keep to my rule no 5 tis time.. i hid it frm him tt i rebulit my frenster.. tt tym when we broke up i rebuilt it.. but i din tell him after we patch on 11 sept.. cos its lyk so many days i din go inside le n i totally forgot bout it..

i realli din mean to hide it frm him.. but all i wanted to do was to keep myself updated amg my frens n my family.. lyk wen qi jeslyn xiao pei they all.. cos i seldom contact em now.. n frenster is e onli way to see wat's happening in their life.. n some of my guy frens in sch.. frens i've known for a long tym since pri sch..

its not lyk i wan ppl see my profile.. i dun even intend to put a pic there, n some of e things are still e same.. found e guy i love n being a full time lover to him.. n e guy frens are not those kind tt i have a thing for.. its jux normal frens n old frens i've known since primary sch.. lyk all his ger frens in his account..

this is 1 mistake i made.. not updating him.. i guess if i did told him nth would happen.. deleted my account again.. n tis time for good.. i dun wan make him angry wif mi anymore..

my mistakes are getting lesser n lesser.. it comes up onli once in a while occasionally.. n i hope in time to come there'll b no mistakes for mi to make.. cos by tt tym i've finish making all my mistakes n i noe wat it takes to b his perfect ger..

2006-09-14T19:31:00.000+08:00

finally got him back.. on 11 sept.. been trying to woo him back to patch for 2 weeks n finally he relented..

BUT suay suay 2day poh lin had to mention e mt ophir trip n mi being buddy partners wif ivan.. n HE'S NOT EVEN MY BUDDY PARTNER RIGHT FRM E START!! i was buddy wif Denise.. n she n ivan were 1 of e scout leaders there..

b4 we went for the trip, my ma told em to take care of mi.. cos of my kinda weak health.. (fall sick easily.. all e flu, fever all tt).. denise was busy sometimes cos she had to take care of e sec 1 n 2s so tt means ivan took over e job sometimes of taking care of mi.. (he's over 30 btw..) n poh lin mistook mi for being ivan's buddy partner on the climb.. not he mistook lah.. he anyhow jux shoot out of his mouth.. (actually kinda same as anyhow sae)..

baby got angry tt i was 'buddy partners' wif a guy.. actually i would too if i find out he's having a buddy system wif a ger.. but jealous more.. but I ShALL CLAIM TT I'M NOT BUDDY PARTNERS WIF TT GUY.. poh lin anyhow sae cos he see us n denise always hang out together.. stupid mouth of his.. =(

but e thing is he already said tt he anyhow sae already.. he's been trying to explain tt to him tt whole afternoon.. but baby still dun believe... late in e afternoon he told mi tt he himself oso got another buddy already.. no use coming back to him..

i really dun wan poh lin's anyhow blabbering of non-factual stuff to affect our relationship.. i've jux patched wif him n i dun wan to break anymore.. =(

2006-09-09T01:33:00.000+08:00

busy working since my hols started.. its been 3 weeks since our last breakup.. =( kinda used to it already tt he wun b updating mi on his whereabouts.. but i'm still doin all e stuff we used 2 do b4 we broke up... updating him stuff about mi.. defending him when ppl ask y i lyk such a mischievious guy lyk him.. i dun wan wait until we patch den i start 2 update him.. i still wan do my part as a gf to him, although there might not b a chance tt we can patch.. especially now tt there's some1 hu's also told him she kinda lyk him..

feeling jealous.. everytym for sure after we break gers will start msging him.. everytym whenever he meet new gers there'll sure b gers lyking him.. i'm not e onli 1.. n each tym its a diff ger.. mayb he's popular arnd gers ba.. doreen, kimberly, fefe, etc.. n now its e hamtaro.. dunno wats her name but guess e nickname mux b he choose for her de ba..

i noe i've not much chance now but i still dun wan let go.. i still cant let go.. i love him more than what he felt n i'm more than willing to sacrifice anything to make him happy..

thinking occasionally whether e hamtaro will b a better ger cos she can make him study wif her whilst i cant.. this is something i cant do for e past few mths but tis ger can do it in jux a few days.. wondering wat's his relationship wif her.. does he lyk her?? i dunno.. he told mi he dun lyk her but he's keeping e msgs she sent.. bout she admitting tt she lyks him..

i noe its wrong of mi 2 see his fone but i'm realli curious bout his relationship wif her or some other gers.. i dun wan b e last 2 noe tt he's got another ger in mind again.. n its onli thru his fone i can see whether i still got a chance to patch or he's lyking someone else..

i'm still waiting for a patch.. i noe it'll take time tis tym round cos i've dissappointed him deeply.. but no matter how long, be it a few mths or a few yrs, i'll still cont wait for him..

i've decided to b wif him, n i'll nvr back down on this decision.. cos its hardly i can find someone hu can realli make mi give all my heart to him n make mi sacrifice everything for him.. i put in too much in this relationship.. so much so tt even when we broke up my heart is still craving for him.. so badly.. its lyk drilling a deep hole n when its taken out, there'll still b a deep hole there..

i realli wan him back.. i dun care if i forsake n change everything.. as long as i have him by my side, i'll b contented..

2006-09-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

went bukit batok to eat sakae 2day.. BUKIT BATOK OK!! haha.. its damn far frm simei to there.. almost an hr of train ride..

went wif baby (no matter wat happens, u'll still b my baby to mi, unless u've found another ger) to meet derrick, ling zhen, en ci, stanley n michelle.. stanley n michelle din turn up cos they overslept.. terrence joined us lata..

had fun watching baby n derrick doin all e lame stuff during our meal.. they're so bad.. (but i love it when it comes frm baby.. =P) lucky en ci n derrick worked at tt outlet b4.. we had an 'extreme discount' wif help frm en ci's frens.. lol.. tried e sake.. tried it e 1st tym n it tasted alright..

i bought an anklet n some studs.. cost mi bout $15.. after tt we went expo (baby went gym) cos derrick meeting jie biao n steven there.. it was e IT fair for e last day n derrick wanted to buy e digicam for his tioman trip e nxt day.. i showed him e digicam i like (waterproof n shock proof).. he wanted to buy tt.. n cos its e last day he decided to wait till near e closing time see whether if buy got discount anot.. so mi n en ci went off 1st.. she's meeting her frns to celebrate her birthday tml..

i went 2 TM to find black pants n shoes.. shoes cos i lost my shoes @ e locker.. (shirley told mi tt put on top of e locker wun get stolen n e locker oso wun b so smelly.. i heeded her advice but suay suay mine was gone) currently wearing xiao wei shoes but its been giving mi blisters.. n pants cos i dun wan wear my formal black pants to work.. kinda impropriate for mi.. asked baby to help mi buy but i noe he's currently on budget now.. he'll onli b getting his pay on fri n tt'll b e last day of sch.. dun wan overspend his money tis week.. =(

missing him now..

2006-08-29T11:26:00.000+08:00

this relationship has been on and off during the 1 yr plus we had together.. the constant breakups cos of our mistakes, especially mine, patching back cos we still have feelings wif each other, but i want to tell u tt its cos of all these mistakes and u're willingness to forgive me everytym tt made mi want to cherish u more and more.. its damn hard to find another someone lyk u..

i din noe how to b a good gf, cos all my past relationships i din put in effort into it.. but for tis relationship, through e mths, i've been adding more and more effort into it, cos i noe i've finally found someone whom i'm starting to realli love with and who will love me back e same..

i tried to maintain tis relationship wif u, but at some point or other i always dissappointed u..
i noe its my flirtatiousness n dumbness which u dun lyk, i wanted to change in these aspects, but i've got no self motivations cos i've been taking u for granted.. someone who will forgive me nevertheless of e mistakes i made..

u've been very harsh tis tym to mi.. deciding to breakup cos u think i'm not e ger for u.. mainly cos of my flaws and u've been tired of all e breaking and patching.. but a relationship is not a relationship where's everything's perfect.. relationship is perfect when e couple decide to ignore each other's flaws.. but in this relationship, we quarrelled countless times.. but its also during these tyms we noe wat each other lyk and dont' lyk and improved for tt person.. tt's y i've got a book bout u.. i wan improve myself through all e quarrels so tt i can b perfect for you..

i'm jux a few more steps further to reaching my goal of being ur capable gf.. i realli wan u to see me change.. u've seen onli my flaws but u din manage to see my good points.. u've been concentrating on my flaws but u've neglected my strengths.. i hope u'll lower ur expectations abit and u'll find out tt i realli love u alot n tt i've changed in certain aspects which u nvr noticed..

i've let go of all e past everytym we patch cos i noe we can go further into our future.. u were once a christian n i believe god taught u to let go of the sorrows and hold on to the blessings.. (i read it frm my email).. so i hope u'll let go of our past and live a new life together..

i wan be e one who will be wif u through ur ups and down.. i wan be e 1 gf u'll b proud of.. i wan u to love mi as much as u do last tym and as much as i love u back.. lyk i said, i'll nvr let go of u anymore..

2006-08-22T11:11:00.000+08:00

to baby:

i noe tis 1 yr plus have been a challenge for us.. we had our fair share of arguements, and happiness, laughter and breakups .. n each obstacle has been an enduring one for us... but all this has realli made mi cherish n love u more and more.. ur're e only person whom i've met in my whole life that made mi sacrificed my all for u.. i wanna cont my life wif u.. i dun wan let u go jux cos of miscommunication..

i've changed a bit.. n i wanna cont to change my flaws to b e right ger for u.. i'll still wait for u.. no matter how long it takes.. as long as a can b wif u.. i noe u nid a break from all this but once ur're ready, i'll b most willing to accept u back..

u cherish tis relationship in e past, n i hope u do so now.. my love for u has grown stronger thean ever.. for u, i'll change in my ways, n i realli hope u'll accept mi back.. tis i promise u... 2gather wif all e other promises, vows and 'thumbprints' we made 2 each other..u sacrificed alot for mi... ur time, ur frenx, ur love, ur care and concern n ur money.. and 4 all these, i thank u..

2006-08-19T23:05:00.000+08:00

went SP 2day 2 support m hotel in e hong leong soccer tournament.. support baby actually.. haha.. they got into e semi finals but din manage 2 get into e finals.. said wat e referee bias.. haha..

tot they will b playing e group stages 2day n full match.. but only to realise tt each game was arnd 20 mins.. played group stages: 40 mins.. (against 2 teams) they got into e semi.. waited for another 40 mins (for another semi final's opponent) and after tt another 20 mins for them to play e semi.. n e weather was damn hot.. haha..

din recognise a ger there @ 1st.. 1 of e gf of e team mates.. cos tt tym she tied up her hair n tis tym she put down.. so i din recognise her until e end of e match when i finally noticed hu she was.. lol.. spent more than 3 hrs there.. in e hot weather some more.. but lucky there was another ger over there 2 crap n take fotos.. lol...

went carls. jr after tt in marina square after tt.. he goes there evrytym but it IS e 1st tym for mi.. e mall is DAMN SUPER big.. bought a wool shorts n a white top @ TOPSHOP.. e shorts costed mi 86 bucks n e top 23.. n i only knew e price when i went 2 pay for it.. -_-" but anyway it onli cost a little more than 100 so nvr mind.. =D

2006-08-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

friendster: official closed on 17 aug 2006. having a bit of relief.. mayb cos there's 1 lesser excuse to .. ... but i dunno whether i'll regret in e future.. cant see jes eve qi n my cousins n my good frens profile.. but prob nvr mind.. there's still a fone.. haha..

exams starting jus nxt fri.. 25 aug.. tt's kinda fast for mi.. i still need to revise all my subs.. but after tt gonna have 2 mths hols till 24 oct.. woohoo!!! evelyn here i come...!! =)

i've been stay-home depressed these few days.. he's out everyday but not once he asked mi out..
said e travel time frm tamp to hougang very long.. but did it occur to him tt i've been taking tis route for a yr plus n i dun even mind??

mayb he's keeping his word of 'when i'm wif my frens i dun see u' ba... he jux wanna enjoy himself without mi being arnd.. but he doesnt noe tt i'm feeling VERY neglected cos he seems to onli wanna hang out wif his frens n i'm not included.. n tt's ALMOST everyday.. (i.e. bout 6days out of 1 week - 1 day cannot meet up mayb cos his frens not free n tt's when i come back) realli felt lyk tis bunch of frens of his have become e centre of his life n i'm kicked aside suddenly.. =(

last tym we were him sch work, him sch work (sometimes frens).. now i'm sch home, sch home.. n he's sch frens home, sch frens home.. see e diff??

ask him out he said he'll b goin out wif frens.. n i'm informed onli when i ask him.. (summary: ask him out for dinner oso so difficult.. ) -peng- =(

mayb i made e wrong choice of making him e centre of my life last tym.. distancing myself wif my frens cos i wanna spend more time wif him.. n now when i've long been distant from em, he's now forsaking mi for his own frens, leaving mi all alone now..

mayb its time to reconnect wif my old frens now.. since he already got no time for mi i might as well find time for myself.. since i've got sooo~ much spare time now.. -_-"

2006-08-09T23:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY S'PORE!!! din get to see e whole parade but at least i got 2 see e fireworks.. =) went to ning's country club to watch.. actually it e Singapore Swimming Club.. chilled out e whole day there.. cos e roads were supposed to close at 2.. played pool, went karoke, watched e parade on TV.. but e reception wasnt tt good.. e screen went haywire and blacked out sometimes.. watched a RGS ger kana dunked in to e water by some kids.. haha.. there was somesort of carnival there watsoever.. brought some of my books along to study there but in e end din even touch it.. Joe n ning oso.. LOL..

surprised to see kumud there... n guess where i saw her?? in e ladies.. haha.. she came out of e cubicle i was queuing for.. we were excited when we saw each other.. haha.. turns out she's a member there oso..

i dunno y e rules @ e pool room were so weird.. 1st, their rules were name bye-law 1, bye law 2 blah blah blah.. n one of e rules is something lyk: shorts which are above knee cannot play pool, except on sat, sun n PH.. e person incharge din allow mi n ning to play @ 1st.. we din meet e criteria.. den he showed us e rules.. but luckily we read e rules CAREFULLY n saw tt is shorts are allowed during sat, sun n PH... n thank god its national day 2 day... haha..
n 2nd, only light snacks and drinks are permitted into e pool room as acknowledged by e management.. but they din specify wat light snacks they mean.. -_-"

baby said there's 3 parts to my birthday.. 1st is on my birthday.. e steamboat. 2nd is on sun.. e 'surprise' birthday cake. 3rd is 2day.. e fireworks. =)

i missed 2days of fireworks.. another 2 more days to go..

2006-07-25T10:28:00.000+08:00

i've jux realised i've not been touching tis page for e past few weeks.. rushing all e projects until i dun think i can ta han till after 10 which was once my usual tym 2 use e com.. bed time's now @ 10 after e 9 pm show.. oh well healthy lifestyle.. hu doesnt' want it?? =P

i still got many fotos in hanis fone which she hasn't sent 2 mi.. she's waiting for mi 2 b online so she can send 2 mi.. shuying oso.. -_-" i rather she pass it to mi in thumbdrive during cls.. its much more convenient.. lol.. her fone's fault.. lol.. shu ying's one oso.. shhh.. =p

finally got my project fotos taken for my project.. @ underwater world.. spent bout 40 bucks for e entrance fee but got shooed out frm taking fotos inside e souvinior shop.. wat e hell?? baby accompanied mi there.. tt's nice of him.. skipped 1 day of work (2days actually - sun i was hell knocked out. due to e 2 red bull mixed wif gordon blue).. xiao shi replaced mi for dinner on sat.. sun baby gave e excuse tt he's in hospital.. toe injury.. haha..

changing a new line after my 18 birthday.. to singtel.. will b applying for driving liscence.. prob during e sept hols ba.. 2 mths hols.. cant wait for exams to come n finish faster.. starting on aug 25.. ending on 1 sept..

plus. i'm dreading for my birthday to reach. i dun wan my night mare to come thru. i dun wan to lose my precious on tt day.. or anyday after.

2006-07-07T10:39:00.000+08:00

i realli feel lyk crying... my beta's half done, i'm totally stuck on it.. its due 2 be handed in on mon but there's no way i can cont cos i dunno where my mistake lies.. i realli duno how 2 do.. i realli nid 2 pass tis.. i dun wanna get kicked out .. i wanna cont study.. asked siulun for help.. he agreed to meet mi @ 12 but i waited for him for 4 hours but he din show up.. supposed to meet him today.. he said he got cls.. he said he's supposed 2 finish @ 10 but i dunno wat happened.. i lost all e contacts.. i dunno hu 2 ask.. i wanna cry.. i'n crying now..

2006-06-29T09:19:00.000+08:00

ate jack's place in eastpoint yest.. e name was changed to dunno wat bistro or wat.. gave baby tis surprise... was supposed 2 bluff him tt i'll b having sch till 5 while on my way 2 his place.. but he said e moment i asked him wat he wanted 2 eat gave mi away.. =(

treated him 2 e restaurant.. it was kinda like a western lunch.. haha.. appetizer was e snail.. i forgot wat it's called but it IS nice.. dun mind trying it again.. =) we had sweet corn as soup and had garlic bread to accompany wif it.. after tt we had e main course.. his was chicken cutlet in lemon sauce.. mine was sirloin steak.. i love steaks.. haha.. but he din seem to like e taste... lol.. but his chicken cutlet wif lemon tasted not bad... kinda nice oso.. nxt came e dessert n coffee n tea..

to sae e truth, i dun mind coming againg n again n again... haha.. apart frm e food, e service was good too (commented by baby)..

ate quite full.. n quite happy.. cos @ least i managed 2 pamper him.. n e money was worth it so long as i can enjoy wif my baby..

p.s. another surprise coming along baby... but tis time, i wun give myself away... *shhhh* =)

2006-06-16T10:01:00.000+08:00

we broke up on 23 may. its a mon.. he was angry cos i hid things frm him.. i din tell him there was a guy in my project group. furthermore e previous week we had an arguement which subconsciously led to this break up.. i din wanna let him go.. i still wanted to be wif him.. big time.. but he keep din wan to patch.. i tried to forget him but i jux cant seem to do tt..

tt's y on e 25 i went to fling wif a guy.. for hope of keeping myself occupied wif another person so i wun even have e tym 2 think bout him.. i'm a lousy person.. i admit i was using tt guy.. i din have much feelings for him.. but i jux wanted to keep my tots occupied so i wun keep thinking n crying over xj..

on mon, 12 june 20006, he saw e fotos i took wif my fling in e hard drive.. i couldnt manage to delete away in order to hide it frm him before i lent it to him.. tt tym i was @ his house while he was in sch.. he was angry.. he came frm sch directly back home jux 2 chase mi out of his house.. but i wouldnt budge.. his dad n bro were @ home when he scolded nasty stuff bout mi.. he tot tt i did things wif tt guy n tt i slept wif him.. but i din.. =(

he asked mi alot of questions.. i told him i wanted 2 forget him tt's y i went wif tt guy.. he din wanna patch but i loved him too much to let him go jux lyk tt.. he called doug n asked hu was e guy in e foto hu kissed mi.. he said it was a guy frm shang..

he was angry n let mi in on a secret which i knew onli tt day.. he two timed mi last yr wif another ger frm his sch.. n there was evidence to prove it.. e fotos he showed mi.. said tt there were more fotos inside tt locked box which he would show one each time i went to find another guy.. my heart was so heart broken.. i realli din tot tt he would do tis 2 mi.. after he left e house i smoked in his room..

he asked mi how long i was wif tis guy.. i lied to him tt we onli went for 2 days.. 25 to 27.. wat i din tell him was i'm still wif tt guy.. but he found out him self.. actually i intended to break wif tt guy e moment when xj sae he'll patch wif mi.. but after he saw mi msging tt guy dear i knew tt all hopes are gone..

he told mi he'll have to beat tt guy up n slap mi if we were to patch.. i din wanna him 2 start his past of beating ppl again.. =( i din allow him 2 beat him up.. its not even tt guy's fault frm e start.. i started all this.. anyway, mi n e guy broke up.. ke knew tt i still cant let go of xj.. i told him i still long to b wif him..

i went to his house tt very evening.. he wanted to talk things over wif mi.. n tt's e tym he found out i was still wif tt guy.. it was a nasty confrntation after tt n his mum stepped in..

i broke up wif tt guy tt very night.. i realli wanted xj back.. realli sorry for e things i did wrong.. i tot i'll lay low for e time being.. i dun wanna cheat my feelings for tis guy n i dun wanna b wif xj cos of e things in tt box.. i cant imagine how many other things he did while being wif mi..

13 june.. until tt nite jolynn told mi wat xj msged doug.. they know all bout tis.. xj said super nasty things bout mi tt forced mi to ask him myself.. i cant even imagine tt someone so dear to mi could sae tis out of his own mouth.. i realli wanted to hate him but there's no part of mi that could find the courage to do so when i jux wanna b wif him despite all e things he's done and said to mi.. we had our confessions and it was den we talked things out peacefully.. i knew tt we had a chance to b 2gather once again n i dun wanna let go of this anymore..

14 june.. he found out tt i smoked in his room.. i told him i was realli very upset cos of doreen.. n tt box.. i trusted him tt tym he told mi he n her had nth on but in e end it was t truth.. he understooded n forgave mi..he could understand how i felt tt tym.. i skipped work n went to his house.. n tt was e tym we were back together again.. =)

23 may to 14 june 2006.. nth can still break us apart..

2006-06-07T00:24:00.000+08:00

i miss xingjin!! =( no matter how hard i try, i jux cant get him out of my head.. i wanna msg him asking how is he but i dun think he'll wanna pick up conversations wif mi.. he's being so dao to mi so much tt i cant stand it.. i wan 2 love him again and again and again.. none of my previous relationships has made mi gave out so much of my love for him.. he's e onli 1 tt made mi do tis. he's the 1 hu made mi know wat a gf shld do in a relationship..

i regretted everything i did to let him down. i din noe how to cherish him.. i took him for granted.. those times i threw my tantrums on him as if he were my boxing bag.. i made many wrong assumptions.. too many.. i din learn to give in to him and understand him.. mayb its cos i'm being pampered frm young tt's y i'm having this stubborn and hard headed attitude... everything jux has to go my way..

i wanna let him see i've changed.. i'm not e huiling in e past le.. i've learnt not to make assumptions for goodness sake n i'm gonna love him all over again.. double the effort.. i realli wanna b back wif him again.. tt's all i wanna long for.. if he could jux give mi tt final chance back., tt is.. i'm gonna give in all i can give to maintain this relationship once again..

i'm not gonna let u go again. you were once my everything, n deep inside my heart, u will forever be.

2006-06-02T13:31:00.000+08:00

jolynn birthday yesterday.. doug treated her to e line... THE LINE!!! said e food there was superb.. free flow of beer but they couldn't finish the beer cos they were too full eating e food there.. LOL.. costed abit over $200 for 2 person.. but kinda worth it ba.. cos of e food.. lol..

while they were eating there mi n hanif went sakura in far east to eat.. 2nd tym went there.. ordered kai lan oats prawn lemon chicken n fried wanton.. e lemon chicken was still damn sour..

shopped arnd orchard looking for a gift for jolynn.. din noe wat 2 buy for her.. in e end bought her a necklace.. dunno whether she will like it anot.. haha.. waited for them in orchard n rested outside cine LJS.. they came to find us arnd 9.10..

doug n jo already bout e tics le e couple seat so mi n her went to buy another pair.. 4 rows frm e frnt.. -_-" anyway e movie was kinda funni.. n i onli realise tt it was out on e day itself.. no wonder so many ppl despite being it weekday... =)

2006-05-26T11:36:00.001+08:00

star team prac test yest.. paired up wix xin ge.. haha.. jason chua was e 1 hu tested us.. i shant sae wat are e details bout wat happened during e test but all i can sae is its damn fucking funny until mi n hua xin were laughing n doin e test.. LOL..

rushed down frm TP to there.. almost late by 1 min.. reached there at 6.59pm.. had to draw lots for our turn.. after e test waited for joanne, boon hou, jason n rachael.. wanted go eat dinner ( i haven eaten anything since 12 pm..) but rachael n jason still got stuff to clear up.. n boon hou n joanne told us they go 1st.. so mi n man went orchard tower to eat hor fun... no halal food so bo bian have to watch mi eat.. LOL.. eat already we were @ lido chatting den boon hou called.. yuan lai he still @ shang.. tot he left already.. -peng- couldnt wait for em cos i gotta catch e last bus @ 12..

goin wakeboard training nxt mon... =) davinci code tis sat after work..might b hanging out till late nite early morning.. MOS and DXO coming soon.. somewhere in e 2 weeks hols.. its been kinda long tym since i hanged out lyk tis le..

i still wanna eat sakae sushi wif my baby but i noe its not even possible now.. =( single lifestyle but still trying to accept it.. i'm still feeling his presence in my heart.. but lucky there's ppl n stuff for mi to occupy myself wif so i wun think bout him so much..

- i have resigned to e fact tt we wun b to gather.. but all i wish to is to jux b frenx -

2006-05-21T02:14:00.000+08:00

2day is 20 may.. n my last entry was 3 may.. thats kinda long.. haha.. worked while baby enjoyed himself @ his fren's house.. its lyk i'm e hubby bringing in e bacon n he's e wife nvr work everyday play.. haha.. onli diff is tt i nvr give him household allowance n he's still e 1 forking out some of my expenses.. lol.. nxt tym when both of us free i'm gonna have 2 splurge on him... i jux have e urge.. but i dunno whether he would allow anot..

jux now walking down e stairs wif qiong qiong she fell down e stairs so suddenly.. its lyk 1 moment i'm talking 2 her n e nxt i was looking @ her on e flr in pain.. she hurt her back n i felt so painful for her... OUCH!!! actually its oso kinda partially my fault tt she fell ba.. haha.. cos i keep talking 2 her until she missed 1 step down.. haha... although she said e flr is 'slippery'.. e heel of her right shoe came apart.. spoilt.. even her watch of 2 yrs oso had a crack liao... i felt kinda bad... i'm gonna bring along e ointment to help her rub her spine.. hope it wun ache as much after rubbing.. =)

shang theory test 2day... din realli study tt much.. it was a last min study... had to rush my research to send it over to lemuel.. i'm confident of e MCQs but i realli had no idea how to write a complete briefing note extracted frm e EO.. i mean where in e hell would some1 memorise e format of e briefing notes.. stupid rite... n e question was lyk 30 marks lor.. n e 20 marks question was something lyk u are e supervisor of a funtion n 1 of e staff spilled beer ona lady guest: wat would u do.. i totally forgot bout e soda water n napkin!!!! ahhhh.. goodbye to my $6.50 per hour pay.. sad sia.. lol..

all e cls tests are coming n projects are gonna due soon... e week starting 26 may.. mid sem tests coming e week after tt n if i realli wanna study for tt, i gonna complete my NMM soon.. i'm giving myself a deadline.. by nxt wed.. e other 2 projects cant b helped cos most of my grp members are kinda lazy 2 meet up for projects.. its lyk everybody got their own stuff to do n there seem lyk no suitable tym to accomodate everyone's timetable.. i think e onli hardworking ppl are janet n alvin.. cos e whole info bout e project is wif em.. so bo bian they have to do.. e onli tym we manage to meet up to discuss e project is during e lesson itself.. lol..

i'm getting picked on by peggy yeo in tut cls.. she kept asking mi to ans tut questions even though she can CLEARLY see that i din do any of the tutorial.. frm e 2nd week when i came to cls late, she's been getting me to answer e questions even though i din know e ans.. i told her e wrong ans or say i dunno she will start picking on mi n all that... stupid.. i can see y so many student dun lyk her... STUPID!!! AHHHH!!!!! *venting frustrations*

n tt's e end.. - sorry 4 e long entry..-

2006-05-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Your Birthdate: August 4

You have an extraordinary character - moral, responsible, and disciplined. Your sincerely and honesty shine through in almost every situation. Driven and focused, you rarely let your emotions get the better of you. You're level headed and rational. People count on your to look at things objectively.

Your strength: Your unwavering loyalty and ethics

Your weakness: Your rock solid stubbornness

Your power color: Navy blue

Your power symbol: Shield

Your power month: April

2006-05-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

i'm suddenly glad tt all my sch days end arnd evening.. =) cos there'll b no time i'll b spending weekdays working.. n i'm able to go home n watch nite shows.. although its abit boring but @ least i've known to differentiate weekends and weekdays le.. haha..

1 question i'm pondering.. a person hu saes he quitted smoking.. but he hangs out wif his group of frens hu smokes.. will e person have e urge to take sticks frm em n smoke?? i mean.. its lyk everyone arnd u smokes n ur're e onli person hu doesnt n if u dun smoke u will probably feel not part of e group.. so since all e frens are smoking e person will of course take a stick frm em to smoke 1 rite??

2006-04-26T20:18:00.000+08:00

year 2 in 2006/07.. new cls.. n i'm NOT in e same cls wif my ex clsmates.. mayb except for e DBIS lecture where i finally saw 3 of old faces.. =( i suddenly feel so isolated.. new faces all arnd.. in clses jux sitting in one corner trying 2 pay attention in cls.. actually i'm e same tis n last yr so i dun find much difference in myself ba.. living my own solitary life... as usual.. haha..

n guess wat.. i'm in e same cls wif ALYSSA for bus stats!!! haha.. tot i was goin 2 b sitting alone again but i saw her @ e corridor.. =D she's doin her deferment for last sem in tis sem.. i tot she's not coming back TP after she quit sch le.. was surprised n happy.. cos finally i found some one i noe hu's in e same cls as mi le.. LOL..

sch's boring.. all day long i'm jux in e com lab playing games waiting for the nxt lesson to start.. i dunno y all my tuts mux start so late.. a big rubbish full of rubbish..

"if you love him, let him go.. if he loves u, he'll b back for u.." i think i noe wat will b e outcome.. but i still want him back..

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.. of 13 mths.. of 396 days.. *love u*

2006-04-23T21:29:00.001+08:00

sch's starting tml.. i wonder how tis sem will b lyk.. coping wif 8 subs tis time.. lucky tt all my subs are managed to fit into my timetable but i'm kinda worried i will get e same kinda results i get everytime..

working for so many days tis week.. my feet are thoroughly being exhausted from standing so long hours everyday.. *sorry feet*

goin for a foot spa one of this days tis coming week ba.. n mayb some excerise time for mi.. haha.. din reali do all these for a very long time le.. i guess if i dun make time for my self now, i'll probably drag n drag n drag until i grow fat.. haha..

2006-04-20T17:54:00.000+08:00

got my timetable.. its even worse den last sem.. all are ending either 5 or 6pm.. starting either 9 or 10am.. n its not even 1 or 2 days.. its EVERYDAY!!!

TP's gonna b my 3rd home man.. =( i can't even find a slot where i can skip my last lessons early (mayb to go work..)

I WAN MONEY!!!! i'm dangerously in need of money... not tt i nid money but i din reach my 1K target i wun gan xin.. i wan cont working until 1 reach 1k den after tt i start go sch..

baby lah.. got mi addicted to working tt i jux wanna cont to work n work n work n work.. haha.. but i noe cannot lah.. cos its jux FAT HOPE. =)

2006-04-13T23:57:00.000+08:00

its damn sad to hear frm e guy u love e real truth. real sad.. i din think e things i did will make him feel tt way.. but i did..

for a while i tot things were goin uphill.. but @ this moment i realise tt it was onli mi goin uphill.. its still downhill all e way for him..

he kept breaking wif mi but i duno y i keep wanna patch.. its not lyk mi in e past.. i din even do tis last tym.. i realli dunno wat's happening to mi now.. i dun even noe y i'm doin tis..

he said i'm to blame.. n i admit tt.. i admit i din realli cherish him tt much in e past.. i admit i have done all e things i've done wrong to him.. but all these are in e past.. y can we jux live in e present n look forward to the future???

i wanna have a new start.. since last yr but it seems tt every step i'm trying to take towards him, he's taking another step back away from mi.. i wanna gain his heart back again but time n time again we are always being reminded of e past.. y cant time jux let e bad memories fade away n leave the good ones behind? as long as the bad memories are still here, there's always this wall between us which i find it unable to break without his help..

i felt i have already lost my pillar of support.. finally found one which i tot can b there for mi.. but tis day i realised tt tis guy of mine doesnt wan to be my pillar anymore.. all these is sad.. juz sad.. i have defeated my self.. i have lost his love for mi..

2006-04-08T01:27:00.000+08:00

tis mth's function damn little.. in both e hotels i working in.. pathetic leh.. but sometimes i lyk it when they call mi last min to work, especially on a day i've got nth to do... cos tt means there's something for mi to do n there's money coming in..

everybody jux seem so busy wif their life i dun seem to know wat my life is. dull or packed with work or both?

levi's store up to 70% discount in taka.. so many ppl tt we had to queue up to get in.. haha.. wanted to buy a pair for him but i forgot his size.. 30 or 32.. plus i din manage to find 1 which i think he'll lyk.. tried the ice cream jux outside e main entrance of SHAW.. kinda expensive but e mango flavour is nice..

he's goin bintan on mon.. will b gone for 3 days.. envying him abit cos he can go out of e country wif frens as n when he lyk... whereas i'm stuck in singapore wif nth to do but work.. sian..

2006-03-31T11:45:00.000+08:00

jux received news tt 2 ppl that went wif us to mt ophir got the hand foot n mouth disease.. oops.. denise call mi n asked if i was ok or anything.. ya.. i told her i was fine all along.. (except that tym when i got food poisoning) cos she was kinda worried tt one of us might get it oso..

2006-03-24T10:53:00.000+08:00

26 march 2005, 10.13am. i wun ever forget tis day...

2006-03-21T09:13:00.000+08:00

back in singapore... WE CONQUERED MT OPHIR!!! congrats to everyone hu made it up to e summit.. =) 1276m, 12th highest n 6th most difficult in e world, but we conquered it.. e summit was nice.. e wind was very cooling.. n e clouds were drifting in between us..

i'm goin climb again.. if there's a nxt tym.. n i will have better stamina. i promise.. haha..

2006-03-15T18:27:00.000+08:00

mountian climbing tml... in malaysia.. in mt ophir... I CANT WAIT!!!! will b gone for a few days.. but at the expense of NMM.. =(

2006-03-12T14:45:00.000+08:00

i think i'm hardworking tis sem.. at least i din fail my repeated subs.. n e core sub i passed almost all.. cos of e stupid NMM.. =(... but overall i'm quite happy wif my results.. let's see..

BA1 - B+
Comm skills - C+
BA2 - D+
MicroEcon - D+
MacroEcon - D+
Hospitality - F
NMM - F

at least my results were a tiny bit better den last sem.. haha

2006-03-08T01:36:00.000+08:00

i wan change new skin.. but i 4got how 2 save e skin le.. bask to using tis temp. cos some of e other skin got problems.. due to my itchy editing.. haha..

2006-03-06T09:11:00.000+08:00

ballroom function.. 5 march 2006.. n guess hu i saw?? my cousin!!!

she was 1 of e contestants for e beauty contest.. saw her when i went up ballroom to find juliana.. din see her @ all.. until i heard some1 call "xiao ling" behind mi.. turn back n saw mei ru n e rest of e contestants.. asked mi 4 some food which i happened to have left some downstairs.. haha..

she was damn pretty tt day.. =P wif makeup n her hair all nicely done.. no wonder she won e prize 4 e 2nd runner-up for the contest.. haha

2006-02-19T20:48:00.000+08:00

i love e flowers.. especially e flowers he bought to cheer mi up when i'm angry wif him.. especially e flowers which he bought using his hard earn money late late at night.. especially e flowers which i took out n placed it in a 'vase' wif some decoration of my own.. i love e flowers. especially frm him.. =)

2006-02-11T19:43:00.000+08:00

went MOS after work wif baby.. to celebrate his birthday in advance.. anyway.. his birthday's on 12 Feb... hope he'll lyk e present i gave him.. *hee*

anyway.. met his group of australian frens over there.. partyed till 5 plus morning.. opened 2 bottles chivas regal n 1 bottle absolute blue.. had great fun despite my 1st tym there.. despite the crowd which were so crowded lyk sardines.. especially in e R&B room.. e music was good but there wasnt any place to dance.. unless u consider e abt 50cm by 50cm space arnd u.. haha.. was told tt it wasnt tis crowded usually.. mayb cos o levels result out so ppl are partying yest nite?? haha.. crap. -_-"

6 plus morning.. dropped dead to slp once i was in bed.. now my perception of clubbing has changed.. no wonder ppl lyk clubbing.. =)

anyway.. to 'sign off',

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!
*mUacK*!!!!

2006-02-10T09:37:00.000+08:00

last day of sch... NMM presentation.. i might consider retaking tis sub cos i've got e website ready but my journal is lyk shit... n e stuff are not updated to the CD yet.. i resolute myself tt i'm NOT gonna find a job tt is related to computing.. (i still wanna retain my perfect eyesight.. =P) *oops*.. btw, for your info, in this course, which is BIT, i'm interested in the word B.. not in the word IT... so yea..

even if i fail this NMM (n its a confirm), n IF i pass my BA2 n e rest of my subjects, IF i can retake this NMM, i'm probably try harder in YR 2.. i dun wan wish to spend more time than necessary in this poly.. i've got greater things to achieve than to stay stuck in here n study something i'm not interested in.. n ppl nid half yr 2 understand how 2 create website i nid arnd a yr.. i suddenly think tt my brain is running damn slowly... *hey brain.. are u working fine??*

anyway.. i'll plan my life lyk tis.. after my tis diploma, i'll go shatec 2 get another diploma.. n after tt IF i have e means n money, i'll probably go switzerland to further my studies.. not in BIT of course.. haha.. in hotel management ba.. i'll be specializing in Food & Beverage operation.. cos i'm interested in food.. haha.. n by e tym i'm ready to work, i'll probably b in my 20s.. 24 probably?? but get it.. all this is onli IF.. whether it'll happen or not, its my fantasy.. but its oso my dream.. my ambition..

2006-02-07T17:03:00.000+08:00

Questions of human stupidity:
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins"?
...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dish washing liquid is made with real lemons?
...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
... why is it called a buliding when it has already been built? (by nurul)

2006-02-06T15:47:00.000+08:00

NMM to b handed in on fri... 4 more days left 2 go.. wif 2 days cancel off.. tt means left tues n wed le.. hope tt lin will b free on wed to help mi wif my website.. =)

2006-02-06T09:06:00.000+08:00

back in mandarin 4 e 1st tym on sat.. was a last min thing.. supposed 2 book 4 nxt week but e doris or hu ask mi work on sat.. saw alot of ppl i din noe.. noticed a ger tt look quite lyk cheryl.. especially when she smile/ laugh.. although i think cheryl prettier.. =P but both as sweet n cute.. =) had fun working tt nite.. my guests were nice.. nobody was fussy.. 1 of em had bout 7 glasses of whisky water (more whiskey less water) n after tt he ask mi 4 e cab number n pass mi his fone to help him to call 4 e cab..

let him work till 6am... i noe he wanted to stay but cos i din allow him to tt's y he din ask.. i think frm now i'll b more flexible n 'freedomistic' towards him ba.. i dun wan b e 1 to refrain him frm something he wanna do..

sun was ok.. had jux 1 function in e day n set up @ nite.. e function was a repeat of e 1 on sat.. e wedding dress n e groom's suit were exactly e same.. but dunno whether smelly anot.. haha.. but tis tym was solely 4 e groom's employees... had lots of oyster n stuff.. left over frm e buffet... full until i din eat my dinner but jux sat in e canteen drinking milo wif zhang qiong n e rest in e canteen.. speaking of her, i din see her in TP at all.. -_-"

2006-01-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

finally... e HTM project is finally finished.. after arnd 2 mths e hard work.. e hard-to get-together-to discuss-e-meeting project is finally FINISHED!!!! no more meeting up sheryl they all to do e project.. not in e way tt meeting em was bad.. it was quite good in fact to have a so motivated leader 2 push us thru e whole project.. is happy cos i can go work peacefully without goin home after work 2 rush my project... rest of e group members were great... jing yi ambika n christina.. but 2 bad tis CDS is onli 4 half a yr.. had fun hanging out wif u gers.. =)

now catching up a bit on my work.. onli left e article 4 micro n macro n e programme booklet n 2 study 4 my EOY.. YEAH!!!!! finally.. n i MUX pass all my sub tis sem.. nono.. i dun wanna retake anymore sub le.. i'll try NOT to retake.. JIA YOU!!! after CNY its study time 4 mi.. no more slacking.. no more spending..

2006-01-22T09:34:00.000+08:00

lost his fone.. twice in 2 yrs.. n tis tym is wif my sim card.. i still cant quit my habit of not checking my stuff b4 i left.. =( n this has resulted in his fone lost.. n tt's right. he shld be angry wif mi.. cos i din take good care of the responsibility to take care of his fone.. there's onli mi 2 blame.. not cos sheryl msg mi when i was changing my clothes.. it was cos i was rushing 4 e taxi cos i din wanna stay 2 take e 1.45am transport..

its jux carelessness again on my part.. i shld have check e cubicle b4 i left.. i shld have check e fone when i'm at the security there.. but i din.. i was having high fever n my leg was extremely tired.. i jux wan 2 find a place to rest my leg n slp..

called shang but they told mi nobody returned any fone... went to check yest b4 i started work but there's no fone in there.. i duno how, but i guess i jux have 2 keep finding..

i lost his trust n i truely n deeply apologise 4 tt.. i still nvr learn frm my mistake.. but from now on, i WILL change..

2006-01-19T11:41:00.000+08:00

1. study for NMM written test (by sat, 21 Jan 2006)
2. research for Comm skills problem situation 2 (by sat 21 Jan 2006)
3. HTM project (by mon, 23 Jan 2006)
4. study for BA1 class test (by mon, 23 Jan 2006)
5. hand in article for microecon for teacher 2 approve (by mon, 23 Jan)
6. do BA1 tutorial (by mon, 23 Jan 2005)
7. do BA2 tutorial 7 & 8 (by thurs, 26 Jan)
8. buy my new year clothes (by fri, 27 Jan 2006)
9. do micro econ portfolio (by wed, 1 Feb 2006)
10. Complete my NMM project (by fri, 10 Feb 2006)
11. do macroecon portfolio (by dunno when)

how stressful can it be when ur're studying in poly.. n all no 1 to 9 to be completed within 3 weeks.. ARRGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-01-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

i actually sleeptalked in my slp.. n this happens onli once in a blue moon.. i admit i snore (although i dunno how often n how loud).. xing can prove tt.. i admit i breathe heavily when i slp.. jes n my mum can also prove tt.. but did anyone ever told mi tt i actually sleeptalked in my slp b4?? no.. n summore e topic i sleeptalked was bout crabs.. crabs again.. LOL.. n according to my mum, i was making e 'pincer' wif my hand.. saeing dunno wat: " wo yao chi pang xie.. neh.. wo de pang xie" n tt's when e pincer hands came out.. omg.. i din think tt i'll b craving 4 crabs until lyk tis ba.. praying hard tt it wun rain tis coming sun.. at least not in e evening till e rest of e nite..

starting work again nxt week le.. *yeah* fnally there's $$ coming in 4 mi 2 buy my new year clothes.. i think i after new year den save ba.. cos when there's alot of money inside den i will b more motivated to save money.. haha... n anyway.. those money i save now will also b spent for new year.. so wat's e point in saving now.. i WILL save.. but mayb its not e tym now.. cos there's no extra income for mi except 4 my weekly allowance which is jux barely enuf 4 mi to get by... u get my point??

i'm starting 2 hate rainy days.. days are getting colder n colder.. n my jacket is still wif JES!!! URRGH!!! but jux look @ her reaction when i kissed her tt tym.. haha.. wait 1 day i free i go return her shirt n shun bian take my jacket back.. lucky i still got another jacket.. but i wan e 1 frm kappa.. forgot @ where le.. got abit of impression where i saw e shop but cant realli place where i saw it.. hope it doesnt get out of stock.. n e ladies shorts too... =(

went to simei ite 2day.. he brought me in.. tried e canteen food n i love salmon, especially wif teriyaki sauce.. =) met adlina 4 e 1st tym.. his female best fren.. =P n now i noe y he lyks hanging out wif her so much le.. haha.. similar fun characters..

saw jing jie there oso.. while 'touring arnd' e sch.. i think he was playing catching or wat ba.. haha.. if he hadnt return my fone yet i might jux ask him when he will return my fone.. but lucky ying zhi help mi take back le so suan le.. =)

thinking back, i admit e sch IS big... but its too confusing.. those connectors between e blocks.. escalator, stairs, lift, stairs.. n there isnt much of a scenery inside e building.. cos on e inside of e sch, all i see are e other 2 blocks.. can see e outside road a little bit lah.. but e main attraction 4 mi is e stadium there.. mayb cos i lyk greenery ba.. haha..

2006-01-10T22:54:00.000+08:00

craving for e delicious, scrumptious, yummy, tasty, mouth-watering meat frm e lovely......................................................................... sri lankan crab...

not those crab wif little meat.. but those big fat juicy pincers frm sri lanka crab..

*SLUURPS*

I WAN TO EAT CRAB!!!!!!

I'M LONGING, DESIRING, THIRSTING, YEARNING, HANKERING FOR CRAB!!!! especially those frm east coast n geylang... those yummy butter crab.. OMG... I MUST EAT IT!!!!!

one of these days i muz make myself free (although i'm damn free nowadays) to eat those scrumplicious crab...

i cant wait... might b goin this weekend.. sun mayb.. hu wanna accompany mi? =)

2005-12-30T02:09:00.000+08:00

he cooked breakfast 4 lunch 2day.. his own made breakfast 4 both of us.. his egg is definitely nicer den wat i normally cook.. haha.. n e breakfast he made was yummy n filling.. *lick lips*

wif darlings in marina south eating steamboat in e evening.. gloria wasnt there cos of her hong kong trip.. along e stretch frm mrt 2 e bustop, 2 ppl frm e same restaurant were giving out flyers.. e woman was ok... it was e guy hu was kinda irritating.. keep propaganding ppl to try out their restaurant.. dunno wat pin xiang steamboat restaurant.. kept comparing itself to zheng fa.. cheaper prices, wider space, blah blah blah... went to zheng fa but i still prefer chong peng... i'm more familiar wif e food over there n i think its nicer.. haha..

saw shang ppl over there.. din see em @ 1st.. they walk past my table.. they saw mi.. called mi.. super suprised to see each other there.. e last guy along e row (i dunno wat's his name but i recognise his face) ask mi y nvr ask jolynn melissa they all come marina eat.. n its such an obvious ans.. cos i'm eating wif my own frenx... -_-"

went 4 bowling after tt.. got a tie wif joey.. =) played pool 4 a while b4 goin back home..

*I SERIOUSLY DUNNO WAT @ DO WIF NMM!!!*

2005-12-27T17:07:00.000+08:00

1. forgot to hand in my HTM individual project assignment. constitutes of 15% of overall marks
2. forgot to do the online quiz for HTM.. constitutes 10% of e overall.. i onli rmbed @ 9.30pm. n e deadline was on tt day 5.30pm.. shucks!! haha.. but hope e group project n e 2nd online quiz can help mi.. if i rmb..

i dun lyk ppl hu speak too much vulgarities.. makes ppl feel tt they are uncivilised n their parents din teach em well..

play 1 super mario n all e vulgarities started coming out.. i was on e fone hearing e person scold all e vulgarities at e laptop.. =( its jux a game i realli dunno y u have to say out all e vulgarities??? its not even lyk e game offended u or wat.. -_-"

i hope tt u can change but i dun think i can help.. cos i've tried n now i've given up.. so if u wanna kick e habit of saying too much vulgarities (its ok to say it once in a while but dun make it a habit), i'll give u my moral support.. =)

all the best...

2005-12-25T00:05:00.000+08:00

went back mandarin last thurs.. since mayb a few mths ago.. sep?? could be.. there change alot.. a bit lyk shang.. e chair covers they change.. e ppl n their position oso change.. since e tym i left mandarin until now, got a number of things they change.. i feel lyk goin back mandarin to work.. i suddenly miss working there.. i miss e ppl there.. i miss looking at evelyn oso.. *oops* haha.. goin back nxt yr ba... but see whether can fit into my life anot.. (between sch, myself, him, shang and venture).. den make a decision..

after his work went to e outdoor kopitiam nearby to eat supper.. cos we catching king kong @ cine 1 am.. tis is to make up for not being spending tym 4 mi in e day after my tests.. haha.. saw alyssa wif ricky and michelle n another guy.. i was so happy 2 see her.. =D come on.. i din saw her in sch or anywhere 4 a few mths le... i was so surprised n happy n excited tt when she finally saw mi i went 2 her n gave her a hug.. n a kiss too.. on e cheek lah.. LOL.. but i realli missed her in sch.. she told mi she quit sch le.. cos of family problems.. =(

anyway.. mi n him went to watch king kong.. he slept until almost before king kong came out.. i realli feel bad to make him accompany mi watch king kong even though he's tired after a day's work.. watched till arnd 4.. took e merc cab home.. cine, hougang, simei, midnight fare, total cost $20 plus.. he spent alot on mi.. e food, e movie ticket, e cab fare home and his time & energy..

reached home arnd 4 plus 5.. my ma n mei were awake.. they were catching e 8 am flight to hong kong 2day.. with 3 other ppl.. i dunno y my ma mux wake up so early when e flight is lyk 3 hrs later.. -_-" go airport so early oso nth to do.. haha.. but finally, i can dun get to see my sis 4 nearly 1 week... *peace to my ears* =P

2005-12-18T13:21:00.001+08:00

was in a vomiting frenzy yest.. i think was cos of e cheese cake which my mum bought 4 breakfast.. might b a mild food poisoning but i din hav any diarrhoea *phew* but i SERIOUSLY do not know why i was e onli 1 vomiting when my younger sis also ate e other half of e cake.. spent 6 hrs plus vomiting n slping.. tt was kinda alot of tym wasted on my revision for e mid sem test.. but anyway i'm ok now n i'm not ever goin 2 touch e cheese cake which my ma bought le.. but i'll still eat e cheese cake frm my beloved coffebean.. =D

goin cut hair lata.. both of us.. i pei him go e joemil there cut 1st den after tt see whether parkway parade inside got jantzen anot... i do agree tt my hair do nid some cutting.. after since 26 nov 2004.. LOL

2005-12-06T11:57:00.000+08:00

came back frm camp.. is a 6 days camp but i went for 5 days.. e National Patrol Camp 2005... a every 2 yrs event..

mi n another 2 gers were in charge of tabulating all e results of e 49 schools: 3 to 5 examiners 4 each section.. n there were 12 sections n onli 3 gers.. -_-" e whole day for 3 days we were in e room calculating e numbers until we got super sick of it..

e camp overall was ok ba.. not exactly kinda fun cos we were jux calculating e results in e aircon room.. wanted 2 go 2 e campsite 2 see their gateway n gadgets but din go cos din have e tym.. n anyway, e onli tym we went 2 e campsite was when e sirs were goin 4 their round of inspection of e camp cook (among e 49 schools) n we were allowed 2 tag along 2 try their food.. haha..
e last day after e campfire zaiton n peironf went 2 their sch campsite to console their schmates..
i stayed in e canteen wif e other zhong hua staff n e rest of e camp staff.. haha.. having a mini party of food.. =P

e scouts took my fone 2 play e car game.. e younger ones.. i dunno how come they lyk 2 it play so much.. lyk they nvr play b4.. haha.. zhong hua scouts were e slackest over there.. a lot of leaders n camp staff tot so.. can see frm e way they look @ e scouts.. haha.. but bo bian.. they onli 1st day n last day got something 2 do.. move e things to n back 2 e school.. LOL..

holy high was not so up to standard tis yr.. i think is cos of diff lot of ppl ba.. they sae 2 yrs ago they realli look upon e holy scouts cos of e inverted tower they built.. i think this lot of holy scouts got either bronze or din get ba.. i din hear where's their placing.. catholic high won the gold and e best patrol.. good 4 em.. cos they were e best among e best.. mayb cos of their leaders.. dunno..

damn shag now.. gonna take a nap.. nite..

2005-11-30T14:52:00.000+08:00

went wild wild wet on mon.. skip sch on tt day jux 2 go there... i'm such a bad ger.. haha.. but its actually my 1st tym there so i dun realli mind.. heh.. kinda fun actually.. buti would prefer it 2 hav a few more rides.. instead of e few onli..

attending sch on tues to thurs.. goin camp on fri till mon... e NPC camp... kinda rush actually... i haven done alot of things yet... =(

lagging bhind my schwork now.. i dun seem 2 be motivated enough 2 complete my work by e end of each day.. haha.. mid sem test coming in 2 more weeks.. or issit??? i dunno..

he wanna quit sch.. i dun allow.. but on 2nd tot, its his life wat.. he shld live e way he wan it or wat he thinks is best 4 him.. i cant control, i cant stop him.. but i can only b 2 e 1 supporting him regarding whichever decision he makes..

there's 1 thing 4 sure... if he regards his work more den his studies, if he wanna quit sch jux 2 earn more money, i wun use or touch tt bunch of $$ at all.. i rather stick 2 using my own $$ den using something frm somewhere i dun agree where it shld have come frm.. yes. i told him i let him quit his sch.. but in my heart its a big NO NO... however, i respect his decision.. as i said, its he hu does wat he want in his life.. i hav no right to interfere..

2005-11-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

supposed 2 b our 8 mths 2 day.. but it wasnt a happy 8 mths 4 us.. =( cos of 1 sentence i said tt made him angry... " so late oso nth much 2 do le" i realli dunno WHERE in e sentence was i toking bout him... -_-"

din hav much fun 2 day.. cos both of us were in a bad mood... jux went chomp chomp 2 eat n after tt took e wrong bus back 2 AMK.. he din sit wif mi @ e bus stop... he was standing 1 corner all by himself.. i wanted 2 see whether he is still noticing mi anot so when 165 came, so i went forward, intending 2 board it.. he followed, but when i stop in frnt of e door he jux carried on goin into e bus.. he boarded e bus while looking @ mi standing outside e bus.. it jux broke my heart... i suddenly felt tt he is e type hu doesnt wait 4 anybody.. if u cant b wif him, too bad 4 u, but not 4 him.. he's still continue his life n treat it as if per normal... tt's e way it is..

walked back frm amk station all e way 2 serangoon north crying.. i din noe y i cried, but i jux did.. wanted 2 walk right up 2 hougang but i 4got 2 pass him his newspaper n i wanted 2 see him.. took a cab back 2 my house e bus stop... saw him waiting 4 bus..

when he saw mi he was so emotionless.. 4 tt instant i realli regretted taking e cab back 2 see him.. i felt i had cried 4 e wrong person.. tt's y i vowed not 2 cry in frnt of him anymore, in frnt of some1 hu sees another person crying n still remain emotionless..

will he b e right person 4 mi, i realli dunno now..

2005-11-24T12:09:00.000+08:00

meet melissa, jolynn, douglas n baby after sch in town.. reached there arnd 7 plus n they haven reach yet.. cos they in shang still waiting 4 angie.. n douglas still @ home.. haha.. bought 5 tickets 4 em 1st 4 e 9.20 slot.. oliver twist.. e last part made mi wanted 2 cry.. e scene betwn fagin n oliver twist... very sad u noe.. e 3 of em were shivering in e cinema (except mel cos she had her jacket) but i felt quite ok cos i had some 1 there 2 hug mi wif e addition of my jacket.. haha.. had swensens 4 dinner... cost arnd 90 bucks.. but its e total of us 5 lah... fish n chips, lamp chop, salmon baked rice, chicken baked rice n e prawn dippers (although i tot @ 1st i heard douglas said prawn nipples.. ) LOL

i might b goin back mandarin work... in dec ba.. i wanna go home wif him again.. i miss him...

2005-11-21T19:37:00.000+08:00

life is jux so bored nowadays... n i seriously dunno wat 2 write.. haha... i'm craving 2 watch harry potter but a pity most of em has watched it during weekends... n i'm dwn there working 2 earn my allowance money... sch work is catching up wif mi somehow but i'm still slacking.. -_-"

i wanna go alot of places.. e e new aqua playground in east coast n e jurong swimming complex.. i've been wanting 2 go there since e long tym ago but i'm jux damn lazy 2 take e train dwn alone.. if there's nobody 2 pei mi lah.. haha.. blogging until here now.. slping le... tata

2005-11-07T09:17:00.000+08:00

sch's starting 2day.. n guess wat.. all my sch days (except mon n fri) starts @ 9.. -_-" i SERIOUSLY dunno whether i can wake up on tym anot.. but luckily i think my timetable is not so jia lat as sarah's.. haha.. onli tues hav a 2 hrs break n doesn't end @ 6 or 5 evry tym... earliest is 1 pm.. on fri.. i might as well skip sch evry fri cos there's onli 2 lectures 4 2 hrs n its home sweet home.. haha.. but cos i rather b a GOOD student, i decided 2 attend e lectures.. HAHA..

but anyway, i'm kinda happy wif my timetable but i do WISH they can let us go home earlier.. gonna b diff cls in some subs wif sarah n e rest of my ex cls.. i dunno how many classes i'm diff frm frm em.. =( but @ least i get 2 go HT.. (=

2005-11-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

went out wif dahling sarah yest nite.. was a last min decision.. watched movie.. e exorcism of emily rose...e storyline was kinda boring... e scenery was either mostly @ e court or e jail or e ppl's house... nth much.. i kept yawning... haha.. probably cos i was slpy oso ba... but e horror part was of cos scary lah... as usual.. haha.. i jumped out of my seat dunno how many tyms.. LOL...

2day ne??? woke up arnd 7.30.. set my alarm n told my ma 2 wake mi up but i guess i fell back 2 slp again.. cos i could hear these 2 'noises' vaguely in my dreamland.. onli woke up when he called mi.. i guess onli his voice can wake mi up.. =P but when sch start, i'm on my own... he's on hols... not nice 2 ask him 2 wake mi up evry early morning... haha

brought him 2 work @ shang... 2day's his 1st day.. =) glad tt he kinda lyk e environment n e ppl there... although e work is tough... he said he probably might go back mandarin work.... i leave it 2 him ba... i oso probably might go back but not so soon... mayb somewhere in mid dec or nxt yr ba... =)

waited 4 doris n ivy n another guy... i dunno hu is he.. their fren... they wanted 2 do their booking 4 nxt week.. but i dun think they can start work nxt week ba... cos it IS hard 4 e new staff 2 start work immediately e interview.. especially when there's no training these 2 weeks.. out of e many new staff, they only randomly choose a few staff (less den 5) 2 start work.. mayb dun wan teach so many new staff on e job @ 1 tym ba.. their working system is jux SO weird... haha...

went raffles hotel den walked 2 bugis.. waited 4 him 2 finish work n join us 4 dinner.. e stall tt sell mushroom soup wif e bread on top dun hav le... =( taken over by another stall... I WANNA EAT TT!!!!!

a new financial status starting frm tml le.. we'll b starting 2 save our working money starting frm less den $10 we both hav combined 2gather... =P MUZ BE DETERMINED OK!!! its already bad 2 hav a spendthrift gf hu 4gots wat she spends on but its even worse 2 hav a bf hu also spends alot.. haha.. mayb its tis bond tt keeps us 2gather.. LOL

2005-11-03T22:38:00.000+08:00

'm realli glad 2 hav found him... i hav let him dwn again n again but he jux keeps forgiving mi despite all my misdeeds... i realli dunno wat i'll do without him.. i will cherish him wif all my heart... cos i dun wanna lose him once again..